Congruent with Lisa Carpenter | The truth beneath success. Why it never feels like enough.

Why High Achievers Keep Choosing Chaos While Chasing Safety (And What It Takes to Finally Feel Safe) with Jamie Carlson

Jamie Carlson is a business growth consultant and former corporate leader who spent her career in communications, brand, and strategic response roles at companies like Meta and PayPal. She's the person executives turned to during their messiest transitions, the calm in the storm who could hold anything. While supporting these organizations through massive change and navigating motherhood at the same time, she experienced firsthand the personal cost that comes with that version of success. Today, Jamie runs Curical Consulting, where her work is grounded in a different definition of success, helping small business owners create growth that builds capacity instead of pressure. Her perspective is shaped not just by what she's accomplished, but by what she's had to unlearn along the way.
Jamie's Story: When Safety Becomes the Cage
Jamie grew up in chaos. Military family, constant moves, raised by a young single mother who remarried multiple times. So she did what any smart, driven kid does: she decided her life would be different. She'd create the security, stability, and peace she never had growing up.
By her 20s, she was living the plan. Working multiple jobs, putting herself through Penn State after her entire family moved to Germany the week she started college, buying a condo she couldn't afford because it was the only way she could figure out how to make school work. Every decision was about one thing: never being trapped, never being dependent, never experiencing the instability that defined her childhood.
Fast forward to her 30s. Jamie's behind the scenes at Meta and PayPal during some of their most intense transitions, supporting C-suite executives through crises, holding everyone else's chaos while appearing completely calm. On the outside, incredibly impressive. Great career, beautiful family, doing all the things.
But here's what no one saw: Jamie was in chronic physical pain every single day for years. Nerve pain shooting through her neck and face, 24/7, that she just accepted as normal. She wore it like a badge of honor, actually, proof of how much she could handle. She was thriving in high-pressure environments because chaos was familiar. It's what she grew up in. The crazier things got, the more valuable she became.
And she had no idea that the thing she'd spent her whole life running from was exactly what she kept choosing.
What we talk about in this episode:
Why high achievers are addicted to chaos even while chasing peace. Jamie spent decades creating "safety" through achievement and control, only to realize she'd built a life that required constant crisis to feel normal. We unpack how the nervous system gets wired for chaos and why peace can feel more threatening than pressure when it's all you've ever known.
The physical cost of over-functioning that we ignore until our bodies force us to listen. For years, Jamie was in chronic nerve pain but saw it as proof of her strength and capacity. It wasn't until pregnancy gave her body permission to relax that she realized she'd been living in a state of constant physical crisis, normalized and ignored because she was "good at handling it."
How motherhood became the breaking point that shifted everything. When Jamie held her first baby, she experienced something she'd been chasing her entire life: she wasn't in pain. For the first time ever, her body relaxed. That moment cracked open the realization that the safety she'd been building through achievement had nothing to do with actually feeling safe.
The trap of being "the calm one" everyone depends on. Jamie built her entire identity around being the person who could hold anything, the rock everyone turned to when things fell apart. We talk about how that role becomes a prison and what it costs when your worth is tied to your capacity to carry what no one else can.
Why choosing to do nothing was scarier than any high-stakes corporate role. When Jamie got laid off from Meta, she had the financial security and support system she'd spent her life building. The scariest thing she could do wasn't find another job. It was taking six months off. We explore why rest and presence feel more threatening than pressure for high achievers.
What it actually means to stop proving and start being. Jamie's entire life was driven by proving she could make it, handle it, create it on her own. She shares the ongoing work of shifting from "can I do this hard thing?" to "do I even want to?" and what becomes available when the goal isn't the next achievement but actually feeling joy in the life you've already built.
How to tell the difference between your intuition and your brain's fear spirals. Jamie followed gut instincts that looked insane from the outside (buying a condo at 20 with no job, moving across the country to Austin after one weekend of virtual tours) but always worked out. We unpack how she's learning to trust that knowing and think less.
Why numbness is the real cost of success for high achievers. Jamie had everything she thought she wanted but couldn't feel any of it. No joy, no sadness, just this flatline of "everything's fine." She shares what it's taken to reconnect with feeling and why that's been harder than any professional challenge she's faced.
This episode is for you if you've ever:
Spent your whole life creating safety but never actually felt safe
Built something beautiful but can't seem to feel it or enjoy it
Been everyone's rock while quietly crumbling inside
Worn chronic pain or exhaustion like a badge of honor
Thrived in chaos because calm feels unfamiliar and threatening
Made every decision based on security but still feel trapped
Been the person everyone turns to when things fall apart
Wondered why you're numb despite having everything you thought you wanted
Known you should rest but literally don't know how
Achieved the external markers of success but feel nothing
How to Stop Choosing Chaos While Chasing Safety
Here's what Jamie's story reveals: the strategies that got you here, the over-functioning, the constant motion, the ability to handle anything, are the very things keeping you from what you actually want.
You spent your life becoming the strong one, the capable one, the person who doesn't need help. And now that identity is a cage. You can't stop moving because stillness feels like death. You can't ask for help because being needed is how you know you matter. You can't feel joy because your nervous system is still wired for the next crisis.
The cost isn't just the chronic pain or the exhaustion or the numbness, though those are real. The cost is that you built the safe, stable, beautiful life you always wanted, and you can't let yourself have it.
Get your free Bonus for this episode, The Safety Paradox Assessment, at lisacarpenter.ca/bonus
Ready to stop over-functioning and start actually feeling safe?
If Jamie's story hit close to home, if you're the person everyone leans on while you're running on fumes, if you've achieved everything you thought would make you feel secure but you're still waiting for the other shoe to drop, this is your pattern.
The Congruency Audit is where we look at the gap between the success you've built on the outside and what you're actually feeling on the inside. We'll identify the exact patterns keeping you stuck in over-functioning mode, the wounds driving your need to always be the strong one, and what it's going to take for you to finally stop proving and start being present in the life you've already created.
Because you didn't build all of this just to keep white-knuckling your way through it.
Book your free Congruency Audit: lisacarpenter.ca/audit
Connect with Jamie Carlson
LinkedIn: Jamie CarlsonCompany: Curical Consulting
It's not either/or. It's both/and. You can honor your drive and ambition AND stop choosing chaos. You can be the capable one AND let yourself be supported. You can create safety AND actually feel it.
This isn't about optimizing the version of yourself you built to survive. It's about creating congruence so the life you've built doesn't just look good, it finally feels right.
 
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The Hidden Cost of Proving Your Worth: What Happens When Money Can't Fix What's Broken with Brandon Lucero

Ever wonder why hitting the million-dollar milestone didn't feel the way you thought it would? Brandon Lucero built a million-dollar business in nine months, bought the dream car, and proved to everyone he'd made it. But on the inside, he was working such long hours he wasn't seeing his kids some days, chasing significance instead of fulfillment, and walking on eggshells in his marriage to avoid rocking the boat. What he didn't realize was that his relentless drive to prove his worth was actually rooted in low self-worth, one that would take his divorce and three years of wild discomfort to finally face.
Brandon's Story: From Dead Broke to Million Dollar Business to Facing Who He Really Was
Brandon started from the bottom. Living with his in-laws with less than $1,000 in his bank account, watching his friends buy houses and build careers while he was a college dropout with nothing to show for it. Money became his measure of worthiness. If he could just become a millionaire, then he'd finally feel like he mattered.
And he did it. Brandon built his first million-dollar business in nine months. He bought the Jaguar F-Type, the dream car that was supposed to signal he'd arrived. But when he caught himself driving it to the Four Seasons and Ritz Carlton, seeking significance, trying to feel better than other people, he realized something was deeply wrong. The car wasn't the problem. His relationship with worthiness was.
Then came the real reckoning. His 25-year marriage ended. The identity of "husband and dad" that he'd wrapped his entire sense of self around got ripped away overnight. He was just Brandon. Just dad. And he had to face the parts of himself he'd been avoiding for decades: the people-pleasing, the walking on eggshells, the constant abandonment of himself to keep everyone else comfortable. The hidden signs of low self-worth that look like being the nice person, the accommodating one, the one who never rocks the boat.
Over the past three years, Brandon has been in a constant state of discomfort as every area of his life that he was comfortable with got blown up at once. His business, his relationship, his parenting, his identity, his financial security. And through it all, he's learned that the most spiritual work you can do isn't meditating for hours. It's sitting in the wild discomfort of rediscovering who you are when all your armor falls away.
What we talk about in this episode:
What it actually costs to build a million-dollar business in nine months - Working before your kids wake up and coming home after they're asleep. There was a six-month period where Brandon has no memories with his kids because he was working until he was tired. The quiet regret of wishing he'd slowed down just a little, delayed the million-dollar year, to have those memories back.
The divorce that stripped away every identity he'd built - Being with someone for 25 years since age 16. The massive attachments and dependencies. What it feels like to have your soul split in half. The identity crisis of no longer being "husband and dad," just Brandon, just dad. And having to finally look at all the ways he'd been abandoning himself.
This episode is for you if you've ever:
Worked before your kids wake up and come home after they're asleep, justifying it as building their future while a part of you knows you're missing moments you can't get back
Gone through a major life transition (divorce, career shift, identity crisis) and suddenly had to face patterns you'd been running for decades
Looked back on a period of your life and realized you have no memories because you were so consumed by work
How to stop proving your worth through achievement and start building success that actually feels good
Brandon's story reveals something most high achievers don't want to admit: the relentless drive to prove yourself is often rooted in low self-worth. Not the obvious kind where you talk negatively about yourself. The hidden kind that looks like success on the outside. Being the reliable one. The nice person. The high achiever who can handle anything. Never saying no. Never setting boundaries. Constantly bending to accommodate everyone else.
The cost of this pattern isn't just burnout. It's working such long hours you don't see your kids some days. It's having six-month periods where you have no memories because you were working until you were tired. It's relationships where you've been walking on eggshells and abandoning yourself for years. It's hitting every milestone and still feeling empty because you never actually defined what success means to you beyond the next goalpost.
When Brandon's marriage ended, he had to finally face all the ways he'd been people-pleasing and abandoning himself. The three years since have been a constant state of discomfort as every area of his life got blown up at once. But through it all, he's realized that worthiness isn't something you earn through achievement. It's something you claim by finally stopping the abandonment of yourself. By sitting in the discomfort instead of numbing it. By taking personal responsibility instead of staying in victimhood. By getting curious about who you are underneath all the armor you built to survive.
The transformation isn't about doing less or lowering your standards. It's about redefining what you're building toward. Not millions in the bank and a mansion and a Ferrari. Just being financially comfortable, doing work you love, and being hyper-present in your life. That's success. That would be enough.
Get The Hidden Cost Assessment at: lisacarpenter.ca/bonus
Ready to stop abandoning yourself in the name of success?
If Brandon's story hit close to home, if you're finally ready to stop proving your worth through achievement and start creating success that actually feels good, it's time for a conversation.
The Congruency Audit is where we look at the gap between the success you've built on the outside and what you're actually feeling on the inside. We'll identify the exact patterns keeping you stuck in people-pleasing and over-functioning, the wounds driving your need to prove yourself, and what it's going to take for you to finally create success that feels as good on the inside as it looks on the outside.
You don't have to keep working yourself into the ground. You don't have to keep having periods where you're so consumed by work you have no memories. You don't have to keep chasing significance when what you actually want is fulfillment.
Book your free Congruency Audit: lisacarpenter.ca/audit
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Open the Spotify app on your phone.
Search for Lisa Carpenter and open her podcast page.
Tap the three dots under the podcast description.
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Select your star rating and tap Submit.

The Camino Isn't About Finding Yourself: What 100km (72 miles) of Walking Actually Reveals

What happens when you remove all the noise from your life and just walk?
You're good at solving problems. You're the one people call when things need to get done. But when was the last time you created space to just be with yourself without an agenda, without your phone, without the constant mental list of what needs to happen next?
Sara Intonato and I have walked the Camino de Santiago together twice. 100 kilometers (about 72 miles) each time. And in September 2026, we're doing it again, but this time we're taking 16 people with us.
This episode is Sara and me sitting down to share what actually happens on the Camino. Not the Instagram version. The real experience of what it's like to walk 15-20 kilometers a day, what comes up when you remove all the distractions, and why we keep coming back to this ancient pilgrimage route.
Why Sara and I Keep Walking the Camino
Sara has been on the podcast before (just before Christmas), and if you listened to that episode, you know she's someone who gets the deeper work. We've walked the Camino together twice, and each time something different reveals itself. Each time we're navigating different things in our lives, and the Camino gives us the space to be with them.
We both had things we were processing. Real things. And the Camino gave us the space to be with them without all the usual noise and distraction. No phones constantly buzzing. No meetings. No performance. Just walking, processing, feeling, and being honest with ourselves and each other.
That's why we're co-hosting this retreat. Because we both know what becomes possible when you create that kind of space for yourself. And after walking it together twice, we're ready to hold that space for others.
What we talk about in this episode:
Why we keep coming back to the Camino: What's different each time we walk and what this pilgrimage offers that nothing else does
What it's really like to walk 100 kilometers together: The rhythm of the days, the conversations that happen naturally, and how physical movement creates mental and emotional space
The gift of having nothing to do but walk: How removing all your usual responsibilities reveals what you've actually been carrying
Why this will be our third time but the first time we're bringing people: What shifted for us that made us ready to facilitate this experience for others
What makes this specific route special: Why we chose the Portuguese Coastal Route and what it offers that other Camino paths don't
The practical reality of the Camino: What the days actually look like, how your body adapts, what you need to know before you go
What comes up when you finally get quiet: The thoughts, feelings, and truths that surface when you stop filling every moment with noise
Why we're limiting it to 14 people: What we're creating in this group experience and why keeping the numbers small matters
How walking changes everything: Why movement is different from sitting meditation or traditional retreats, and what happens when you're in your body instead of just your head
This episode is for you if you've ever:
Known you need space to think but can't seem to create it in your regular life
Been curious about the Camino but didn't know what it's really like or if it's "for you"
Felt like you're constantly moving but never actually getting anywhere that matters
Wanted to do something physically challenging that also creates internal space
Known you're navigating something big and need distance from your regular life to process it
Felt drawn to pilgrimage or walking meditation but didn't know where to start
Been interested in the September 2026 retreat but wanted to hear the real experience before committing
Recognized that you can't think your way out of where you are right now
Craved deep conversations without the performance of regular life
Needed permission to take time away just for yourself
Why this conversation matters
We're not trying to sell you a fantasy about the Camino. Sara and I are just sharing what it's been like for us across two walks, and why we're both committed to doing it a third time with a group. The challenging parts, the beautiful parts, the moments that shifted something in us each time, and what we're creating for the people joining us.
If you've been feeling the pull toward something like this, if you know you need space to get quiet and process what's going on in your life, or if you're just curious about what happens when you remove all the noise and walk for days, this conversation will give you the real picture.
Walk the Camino with Sara and me in September 2026
We're co-hosting our third Camino de Santiago pilgrimage in September 2026, and this time we're taking 16 people with us. We're walking the Portuguese Coastal Route, the first path that's transformed both of our lives. The route that showed me what was possible when I got out of my own way, what I was holding onto, and how to let it go so I could create the life I'm living today.
This isn't a vacation. It's a walking pilgrimage where you'll cover 15-20 kilometers (about 9-12 miles) every day. You'll have time alone with your thoughts, deep conversations with the group, and coaching support from both Sara and me to help you integrate what comes up.
Registration is open now, and we're taking 16 people max. 7 spaces have already been claimed. If something inside you keeps coming back to this, there's a reason.
For retreat details and registration: lisacarpenter.ca/camino
And if you're recognizing that you need support in creating the kind of internal space the Camino offers but aren't ready for a pilgrimage, let's talk.
Book your free Congruency Audit: lisacarpenter.ca/audit
The Congruency Audit is where we look at the gap between the success you've built on the outside and what you're actually feeling on the inside. We'll identify what's keeping you stuck in the noise, what you're avoiding by staying so busy, and what it's going to take for you to finally create the space you need to hear yourself think.
Connect with Sara Intonato: 
Website: https://www.saraintonato.com/
Instagram: @sara.intonato
LinkedIn: Sara Intonato
Success that feels as good on the inside as it looks on the outside.
 
If you listen on Spotify: 
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The Cost of Perfectionism: Why High Performance Demands Boundaries (Not Just Hustle) with Ciara Foy

Why do high-achieving women struggle most with the very thing they think defines them: performance?
Ciara Foy spent years believing success meant hustle, billable hours, and proving her worth through perfectionism. She thrived in Toronto's cutthroat Bay Street legal world, worked with two assistants (one for 9-5, another for 5-midnight), and equated exhaustion with excellence. On the outside, she was crushing it. On the inside, she was crumbling under an eating disorder, control issues, and the belief that rest meant weakness.
Who is Ciara Foy?
Ciara is a Registered Holistic Nutritionist and author of "Empowered by Food," specializing in helping women over 40 thrive through perimenopause with hormone-balancing nutrition and metabolic health strategies. After leaving her high-stress Bay Street executive career to reclaim her own health, Ciara discovered that conventional diet approaches fail perimenopausal women facing the perfect storm of declining estrogen, muscle loss, and metabolic shifts. Known for her warm yet no-nonsense approach, Ciara believes that while doctors treat disease, they weren't trained in metabolic optimization or prevention.
Ciara's Story: From Perfectionism to Self-Preservation
Ciara's definition of success has been rewritten more times than most people attempt in a lifetime. From corporate law clerk billing insane hours to stay-at-home mom drowning in isolation and postpartum depression, from building two full-service weight loss clinics to navigating divorce, health breakdowns, and devastating loss, Ciara has learned that high performance without boundaries isn't performance at all. It's just slow-motion burnout dressed up as ambition.
In her 20s, success meant external validation through billable hours and perfectionism. It meant developing an eating disorder after getting fired, then proving everyone wrong by landing a role at one of Canada's top law firms. It meant saying yes to abandoning her law career dreams when her ex-husband suggested she stay home with their daughter, then feeling resentful and lost in the monotony of motherhood.
The breaking point came when pregnancy forced her to confront the eating disorder head-on. She made a deal with God: help me overcome this, and I'll devote my life to helping other women do the same. That promise launched her into holistic nutrition, where knowledge became the key that unlocked freedom from food fear and perfectionist thinking.
But the real transformation came in her 40s, when life handed her grief, loss, and circumstances that would have decimated the hustle-obsessed version of herself. When she lost her 11-month-old puppy Torrin recently, the pain was devastating. But instead of abandoning herself the way she once would have, Ciara held the line on the foundational habits that keep her whole: sleep, movement, three square meals. Not because she's superhuman, but because she's finally learned that high performance requires self-compassion, not just willpower.
Today, at 49, Ciara defines success not by how much she can do, but by the freedom to choose how she shows up. She works with high-achieving women who, like her younger self, are running on fumes and calling it ambition.
What we talk about in this episode:
Why perfectionism is really about control, not excellence – Ciara reveals how her eating disorder emerged after getting fired, and why the belief "I have to be perfect to be loved" nearly destroyed her health and relationships.
The cost of abandoning yourself for someone else's version of success – How leaving her law career dreams to become a stay-at-home mom left Ciara isolated, resentful, and 70 pounds heavier, searching for external validation she could no longer get from work.
What high performance actually requires in your 40s and 50s – Forget hustle. Ciara explains why boundaries, sleep, self-compassion, and treating your body like you treat your babies are non-negotiables for sustainable success.
How to stay in integrity with yourself when life falls apart – When devastating loss hit, Ciara didn't push through or perform her way out of grief. She held the line on foundational habits while giving herself permission to feel everything.
Why knowledge is the key to food freedom – How understanding the "why" behind nutrition gave Ciara agency over her body and broke the all-or-nothing perfectionist patterns that kept her stuck.
The difference between high performance and high hustle – Success used to mean billable hours and burning the candle at both ends. Now it means executing the things that matter at a very high level while having the courage to let everything else go.
What it means to treat your body like your baby – Ciara's powerful reframe: your body relies on you the way your children do. Would you deprive your baby of sleep, nourishment, and care? Then why are you doing it to yourself?
How to maintain muscle and metabolic health through perimenopause – Why eating three square meals during grief wasn't about willpower, it was about self-preservation and refusing to lose the strength she's worked decades to build.
Why freedom is the ultimate success metric – After chasing external validation her entire life, Ciara now measures success by one thing: the ability to choose how, when, and with whom she shows up.
This episode is for you if you've ever:
Believed that success meant hustle, billable hours, and proving your worth through exhaustion
Abandoned your own dreams or career to accommodate someone else's vision for your life
Struggled with perfectionism, control issues, or the belief that you have to be perfect to be loved
Found yourself numbing with food, scrolling, or other behaviors when the pressure became too much
Felt resentful being everyone's rock while quietly crumbling inside
Wondered if you're a high performer or just someone who's really good at running on fumes
Sacrificed sleep, movement, or basic self-care because "there's too much to do"
Lost yourself in motherhood, a relationship, or a role that looked good on the outside but felt empty inside
Struggled to eat or care for yourself during grief, stress, or major life transitions
Built impressive external success while feeling disconnected from your own body and needs
Equated rest with weakness and boundaries with selfishness
Wondered what high performance actually looks like in your 40s and 50s when hustle stops working
How to redefine high performance without burning out
Here's what most high-achieving women don't realize: the version of success you built in your 20s and 30s will absolutely destroy you in your 40s and beyond. The hustle, the perfectionism, the belief that rest is weakness – those patterns don't just stop working, they start actively harming you.
Ciara's story shows us that real high performance isn't about how much you can do. It's about how well you can execute what actually matters while protecting the foundational habits that keep you whole. It's about having boundaries that aren't negotiable, even when life gets hard. Especially when life gets hard.
Because when grief hits, when loss devastates you, when circumstances spiral beyond your control, you can't hustle your way out. You can't perfect your way through. You can only lean on the integrity you've built with yourself, the promises you've kept, the habits that hold you together when everything else falls apart.
The cost of staying stuck in hustle-mode isn't just burnout. It's losing muscle you can't easily rebuild. It's teaching your body it can't trust you. It's arriving at 50 frail, exhausted, and wondering why success feels so hollow.
Ready to stop confusing hustle with high performance?
The Congruency Audit is where we look at the gap between the success you've built on the outside and what you're actually feeling on the inside. We'll identify the exact patterns keeping you stuck in over-functioning, the wounds driving your need to be perfect, and what it's going to take for you to finally create success that feels as good on the inside as it looks on the outside.
You don't have to choose between your health and your ambition. You don't have to sacrifice sleep, strength, and presence to be successful. But you do have to redefine what high performance actually means.
Book your free Congruency Audit: lisacarpenter.ca/audit
Connect with Ciara Foy
Instagram: @ciarafoyinc 
Podcast: The Empowered Feminine 
Book: "Empowered by Food"
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Success that feels as good on the inside as it looks on the outside.
If you listen on Spotify: 
Open the Spotify app on your phone.
Search for Lisa Carpenter and open her podcast page.
Tap the three dots under the podcast description.
Choose Rate show from the menu.
Select your star rating and tap Submit.

Why Over-Functioning Is Keeping You Exhausted (And How to Stop Carrying What Isn't Yours) with Ichel Francis

Why do I feel responsible for everything and everyone?
You're successful. You've built something impressive. But you're also exhausted, overcommitted, and quietly resentful of all the responsibility you carry. On the outside, you look like you have it all together. On the inside, you're running on fumes and wondering how much longer you can keep this up.
You tell yourself this is just who you are. The responsible one. The dependable one. The one everyone turns to. But what if the weight you're carrying isn't actually yours? What if you've been taking on everyone else's problems, emotions, and responsibilities because you never learned to discern what's truly yours to hold?
Who is Ichel Francis?
Ichel Francis is a master coach and founder of The Moon Circle Movement who blends spiritual depth with business strategy in a way that's both grounded and transformative. She works through private coaching, in-person intensives, retreats, and masterminds with visionary leaders and business owners who refuse to choose between inner work and outer results. Ichel runs two successful businesses and has spent years unraveling the patterns of over-functioning, perfectionism, and unworthiness that kept her exhausted despite her success.
Ichel's Story: When Success Costs Everything
Ichel grew up in a home where her father chased material success after growing up poor, while her mother carried religious beliefs that wealth made you a bad person. Her mother worked herself to the bone, never allowing herself to enjoy what they'd built, always waiting to be worthy of receiving.
When her mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer, she had less than eight weeks to live. In those final weeks, she finally bought herself a designer purse, something she'd always wanted but never allowed herself to have. That purse sat beside her at home as she got sicker. She never used it. She'd spent her entire life waiting to be worthy, and by the time she gave herself permission, there was no time left.
That loss shattered every illusion Ichel had about working hard now to enjoy life later. It became the catalyst for completely redefining what success meant. Not material achievement. Not relentless productivity. But space, expansion, and freedom. The ability to enjoy what you're building now, not someday when you've finally done enough to deserve it.
For years after, Ichel still found herself running the same patterns. Over-functioning. Taking on everyone else's problems. Using "I don't have the bandwidth for this right now" as a get-out-of-jail-free card to avoid discomfort. Until she finally called herself out and asked: when will you have the bandwidth? At what point will you know you have enough? And she realized the answer was never, unless she chose differently.
What we talk about in this episode:
The real cost of over-functioning and why it's keeping you exhausted. Ichel breaks down how taking on everyone else's responsibilities teaches them to under-function, creating the exact dynamic you resent. When you're constantly trying to fix everyone and carry it all, you're not being helpful, you're avoiding the discomfort of letting others struggle through their own lessons.
How to discern what's actually your responsibility versus what you've taken on. Most women were taught that things that weren't their responsibility needed to be their responsibility. This pattern gets passed down generation to generation. Ichel shares how to start asking: is this even mine? And what happens when you gently place it back down and back out of the room.
The difference between surrender and avoidance (and why most high achievers confuse the two). If you're someone who runs toward pleasure and away from discomfort, you might think you're surrendering when you're actually just avoiding. Ichel explains how real surrender is sitting in the discomfort, not bouncing back to your comfortable set point, and why that's where the real growth happens.
Why "I don't have the bandwidth" became her favorite excuse to avoid responsibility. For over a year, Ichel used this phrase to get out of everything she didn't want to deal with. Problems in her relationship, issues with her kids, finances, business challenges. Until she had to ask herself: when will you have the bandwidth? The answer forced her to stop running and start sitting with what she'd been avoiding.
How to integrate intuition with structure when you're a logical, systems-oriented achiever. You don't have to choose between being strategic and being intuitive. Ichel is an INTJ who loves systems, processes, and predictability, and she's deeply intuitive. She shares how to mix creativity with structure, and why that combination creates a different level of success that most people never access.
The practice of building self-trust when you've spent years ignoring your intuition. Self-trust isn't built by making big decisions with your gut. It starts with: which shirt jumps out at you when you open your closet? What does your body actually want to eat today? Does your body want rest or does it want to move? Start there. Don't start with "should I move to a new country" intuition. Start with the shirt.
Why rigidity in any system (including lunar cycles, routines, or business strategies) will eventually blow up in your face. The universe has the last laugh when you try to control everything. Ichel thought she had life figured out with her five-year goals, ten-year plans, pristine house, perfect eating, and daily workouts. Then her mother's diagnosis blindsided her and she learned there is no control. Change is always happening. The question is: what kind of change do you want to invite?
What it means to be congruent and why it's about being yourself everywhere, not code-switching based on who's in the room. For years, Ichel was a chameleon. Corporate version. Home version. Friends version. Exhausting. Until one day she decided: I'm just going to be me everywhere. If it bothers people, I can't do this anymore. Being congruent means not apologizing for who you are and not making yourself small so others feel comfortable.
How to know when something is "enough" when you've spent years believing you have to do more to be more. Ichel's accountant asked her out of nowhere: how much money does one person actually need? She'd never asked herself the question. Most high achievers are chasing the end of a rainbow, always moving the target. Unless you define what enough looks like, you'll never feel successful no matter what you accomplish.
The one truth about success Ichel wishes she'd trusted sooner: her version doesn't have to look like anyone else's. She spent years living someone else's life, the version she thought would make people proud or prove she was okay. It led to misery. Now she knows: you get to define what success looks like. And you get to change it. The plan is to deviate. That's the beauty of it.
This episode is for you if you've ever:
Felt responsible for fixing everyone and everything around you while quietly resenting it
Told yourself "I don't have the bandwidth" to avoid dealing with hard things
Worked yourself to exhaustion trying to prove you're worthy of what you've built
Felt guilty for wanting material success or nice things for yourself
Snapped at loved ones after long days of taking care of everyone else, then felt terrible about it
Said yes to things you don't want to do because it's easier than disappointing people
Thought you needed more credentials, more validation, or more help before you could really go for it
Collapsed into bed exhausted but your mind won't stop racing about everything you're carrying
Wondered "is this all there is?" even though you've accomplished so much
Known you need to take better care of yourself but always run out of time and energy
Built a life that looks successful on the outside but feels exhausting on the inside
Been waiting to feel worthy enough to finally enjoy what you've created
How to stop over-functioning and start trusting yourself again
If you recognized yourself in Ichel's story, you're not alone. So many ambitious, capable women are drowning in responsibility they think is theirs, exhausting themselves trying to fix everyone, and quietly wondering when they'll finally get to rest.
The truth is, you're not going to rest by doing more. You're not going to feel successful by accomplishing more. And you're not going to feel worthy by working harder to prove your value.
You'll feel it when you finally stop carrying what isn't yours. When you discern between what's actually your responsibility and what you've taken on because you think being helpful means saving everyone. When you stop trying to eat for other people and let them feed themselves.
Ready to stop carrying everyone else's weight?
The Congruency Audit is where we look at the gap between the success you've built on the outside and what you're actually feeling on the inside. We'll identify the exact patterns keeping you stuck in over-functioning, the wounds driving your need to fix and control everything, and what it's going to take for you to finally create success that feels as good on the inside as it looks on the outside.
This isn't about doing more. It's about putting down what was never yours to carry in the first place.
Book your free Congruency Audit: lisacarpenter.ca/audit
Connect with Ichel Francis
Website: ichelfrancis.comInstagram: @ichelfrancisPodcast: The Aligned Alchemy Podcast

Looking Back with Honesty: A New Way to Approach the New Year

Why do high achievers start every year the same way - with bigger goals, higher standards, and more discipline - only to feel just as exhausted by February?
Because you've been taught that change happens when the calendar flips. That success requires fixing what didn't work and finally getting it right. But here's what no one's telling you: real change doesn't start with another goal. It starts with an honest look at where you actually are.
What This Episode Is About
Most of us enter the New Year already thinking about what we should be doing differently. What needs to be fixed. What standards need to be higher. But this episode isn't about making you better. It's about walking you into a more honest relationship with yourself so you can actually create change that lasts.
In this solo episode, I'm sharing how I approach the New Year with my clients, and it's the opposite of what you've been taught. We're looking back first, mining for data about what actually worked and what didn't, before we ever look forward. Because clarity creates better choices. And when you know better, you can do better.
Lisa's Story: From Reckoning to Ownership
I share my own journey through the past few years - 2023 as a year of reckoning that took me to my knees, 2024 as reclamation and navigating grief I'd never experienced before, and 2025 as recalibration. I talk openly about healing old abandonment wounds, rebuilding my business while stepping back to take care of myself, and what it's looked like to get back in the driver's seat.
I also share my pattern of waiting for people to choose me instead of creating my own opportunities, and why my word for 2026 is "ownership." This isn't about perfection. It's about recognizing where I've been overriding my intuition and what needs to shift for me to step fully into the authority I've been building for over two decades.
What we talk about in this episode:
Why you don't need another goal, you need a more honest relationship with yourself. Most high achievers have been sold the myth that if you tick all the boxes, you'll finally feel the way you think you should feel. But achieving more things won't make you feel better about yourself if you don't feel better about yourself now. This episode walks you through reflection questions that create the clarity needed for real change.
The questions that create pattern recognition about 2025. Where did you show up for yourself in ways you're proud of? Where did effort not equal fulfillment? What patterns continued despite your best intentions? What are you done tolerating? These aren't questions to complete, they're meant to disrupt and bring things to the surface.
Why high achievers struggle to ask for help (and how it shows up differently in business vs. personal life). I share my own pattern of being great at asking for help personally but struggling professionally because I don't want friends to feel like I'm taking advantage of our relationship. This over-functioning pattern keeps many of us isolated and exhausted.
What deserves acknowledgement that no one else saw. The private victories matter just as much as the public ones. The things you navigated that nobody on the outside saw. The ways you showed up for yourself when it would have been easier not to. These are the data points that reveal who you're becoming.
Less resolutions, more reverence for the life you want to lead. Instead of asking "what do I need to fix," we're asking "what do I want more of?" What feels non-negotiable for your energy? Where have you been overriding your intuition? What would need to shift internally for you to feel successful in 2026 if nothing changed externally?
How to redefine success so it's about how you feel, not what you achieve. Success is not a destination. It's a feeling you can choose to step into. I share how my definition of success has completely shifted from 2019 to now, and why it took me so long to realize that no amount of external achievement would make me feel the way I wanted to feel until I decided to choose to feel that way.
The identity shift that comes before the outcome. Your identity - who you're being in the world, how you're showing up - comes before the results. If you want a different outcome in 2026, you have to become the person who has that outcome. I share my own identity shifts around money, numbers, and being smart that allowed my business revenue to expand.
The future-pacing exercise that makes 2026 inevitable. Imagine it's the end of 2026. What would need to happen for you to look back and feel proud? What behaviors would you honor? What beliefs would you leave behind? What were you committed to that made the outcome inevitable? This isn't about perfection, it's about commitment.
Why "ownership" and "fun" are my words for 2026. I share my practice of choosing a word or energy for the year (not a resolution), and why after years of being "intentional," I'm stepping into ownership. No more waiting for people to choose me or for opportunities to come to me. This is the year of creating my own stages and moving past fear.
This episode is for you if you've ever:
Started the New Year with big goals and strong discipline only to feel exhausted by February
Achieved everything you thought you wanted but still don't feel the way you thought you would
Found yourself spinning more plates than ever despite saying you'd do less
Been everyone's rock while quietly crumbling on the inside
Struggled to ask for help because you don't want to burden people or take advantage of relationships
Overridden your intuition and talked yourself out of things you knew were right
Wondered "is this all there is?" or "how much longer can I keep this up?"
Defined success by external metrics (titles, money, achievements) but feel empty inside
Known you should prioritize yourself but always run out of time and energy
Waited for permission or for someone to choose you instead of creating your own opportunities
Tolerated things in 2025 that you're absolutely done tolerating in 2026
Built a life that looks good on the outside but doesn't feel congruent on the inside
How to Actually Create Change in 2026 (Without Another Resolution)
Here's what most high achievers don't understand about the New Year: nothing changes when the calendar flips. You don't become a different person on January 1st. Real change starts with reflection, not resolution.
If you're already thinking about what you should be doing differently in 2026, pause. Because the truth is, most of you don't need another goal. You need a more honest relationship with yourself. You need to look back at 2025 with curiosity instead of judgment, and mine for the data about what actually worked and what didn't.
This episode walks you through powerful reflection questions designed to create clarity. Clarity creates better choices. When you know what patterns continued despite your best intentions, where your effort didn't equal fulfillment, and what you're done tolerating, you can actually make different decisions moving forward.
The cost of skipping this reflection? Another year of chasing goals that don't align with who you actually are. Another year of achieving things that don't make you feel the way you thought they would. Another year of exhaustion without fulfillment.
Ready to Stop Chasing Goals That Don't Actually Fill You Up?
If you listened to this episode and recognized yourself in these patterns - the over-functioning, the waiting for permission, the achieving without feeling, the overriding your intuition - it's time for a reset.
The Congruency Audit is where we look at the gap between the success you've built on the outside and what you're actually feeling on the inside. We'll identify the exact patterns keeping you stuck in cycles of exhaustion and achievement without fulfillment, the identity beliefs driving your behavior, and what it's going to take for you to finally create success that feels as good on the inside as it looks on the outside.
This isn't about adding another goal to your list. It's about getting honest about what's true for you and starting to live from that truth. Because when you're congruent, success stops being something you chase and becomes who you are.
Book your free Congruency Audit: lisacarpenter.ca/audit
Connect with Lisa
Website: lisacarpenter.ca
Podcast: lisacarpenter.ca/podcast
Instagram: @lisacarpenterinc
LinkedIn: Lisa Carpenter
Walk the Camino with Lisa in September 2026
If you're feeling called to more in-person connection and real transformation, join Lisa and Sara Intonato in Spain for a walking retreat on the Camino de Santiago, September 25 - October 3, 2026.
This isn't a vacation. It's a sacred journey to leave behind what's weighing you down and reconnect with yourself without the noise of the rest of the world. Walk over 100 kilometers, strip away the layers that aren't yours, and step into who you're becoming.
Limited spaces available. Payment plans available now. Learn more: HERE
This isn't about optimizing the version of yourself you built to survive. It's about creating congruence so the life you've built doesn't just look good, it finally feels right.
 
If you listen on Spotify: 
Open the Spotify app on your phone.
Search for Lisa Carpenter and open her podcast page.
Tap the three dots under the podcast description.
Choose Rate show from the menu.
Select your star rating and tap Submit.

5 Episodes to Help You Stop Feeling Exhausted Despite Your Success Year-End Reflection 2025

Why do successful people feel so exhausted? You've built something that matters. You've proven yourself over and over. But no matter how much you achieve, it never feels like enough. You're running on fumes, your mind won't stop racing, and you're quietly wondering how much longer you can keep this up. If that sounds familiar, this episode is your roadmap into 2026.
This is the final episode of 2025, and instead of a typical conversation, Lisa Carpenter reflects on the year of transition that brought Full Frontal Living into its new identity: Congruent. She shares her gratitude for 338 episodes, the evolution of her work, and what's ahead in 2026. But more importantly, she's curated five of the most powerful episodes from this year to help you close out 2025 and step into the new year differently.
These aren't just "best of" picks. They're the episodes that hit hardest for ambitious, Type A professionals, executives, and entrepreneurs who are tired of success that feels hollow. The ones who are overcommitted, overwhelmed, and ready to stop abandoning themselves in the name of achievement.
Lisa's Year-End Reflection: From Full Frontal Living to Congruent
This year marked a massive shift. When Lisa rebranded to Congruent, it wasn't just about a new name. It was about getting specific on who she's really here to serve: the high-achieving leaders who look like they have it all together on the outside but are crumbling on the inside. The ones who are exhausted but can't stop. The ones who snap at their loved ones, numb with food or wine, and collapse into bed too tired to sleep but too wired to rest.
The rebrand was about naming the gap between external success and internal fulfillment, and creating a space where ambitious people can finally get honest about what success is actually costing them. Because you can't create peace while choosing chaos. You can't build connection while abandoning yourself to keep it.
 
The 5 Episodes Lisa Wants You to Revisit (Or Discover) for 2026
Episode 322: The 3 Biggest Mistakes People Make Trying to Protect Their Energy
Most people think they're protecting their energy when they're actually just avoiding the real work. This episode reveals what's actually draining you and why your current strategy of saying no to everything isn't solving the problem. You'll learn the difference between energy protection and energy reclamation, and why boundaries without self-awareness just create new problems.
Listen if: You're exhausted despite "setting boundaries," saying no feels impossible, or you're constantly running on fumes no matter how much you delegate.
Episode 310: Why You Might Be Addicted to Achievement (And How to Let Peace In Without Slowing Down)
This episode is for everyone terrified that slowing down means giving up. Lisa breaks down the difference between healthy ambition and achievement addiction, why "never enough" keeps you stuck, and how to let peace in without losing your drive. Because rest isn't the opposite of ambition. It's what makes sustainable success possible.
Listen if: You're constantly moving goalposts, can't celebrate wins, feel guilty resting, or believe your worth is tied to your productivity.
Episode 282: How to Love and Accept Your Body While Still Wanting to Change It
Hating yourself into transformation doesn't work. This episode teaches you how to hold both compassion for where you are and desire for change at the same time. Lisa walks you through the both/and of body acceptance, why shame keeps you stuck, and how self-compassion is actually the fastest path to sustainable change.
Listen if: You've been at war with your body, feel guilty wanting to change, or can't figure out how to be kind to yourself while still having goals.
Episode 280: The Top Reasons You Fail to Achieve Your Goals
This isn't another goal-setting framework. This episode exposes the hidden patterns sabotaging you before you even start. Lisa reveals why knowing better doesn't translate to doing better, the role of nervous system regulation in follow-through, and what actually needs to shift for you to stop self-sabotaging.
Listen if: You set goals but never follow through, know what to do but can't seem to do it, or feel like you're constantly starting over.
Episode 248: The Key to Freedom: Using Your Power of Choice in Everyday Life
Freedom isn't something that happens when you finally achieve enough. It's available to you right now. This episode breaks down how to reclaim your power of choice in everyday moments, why you keep giving your power away, and what it takes to start living from agency instead of obligation.
Listen if: You feel trapped by your circumstances, say yes when you mean no, or constantly feel like you "have to" instead of "choose to."
 
Today's Episode Is For You If You've Ever:
Felt successful on the outside while quietly crumbling on the inside. Everyone thinks you have it all together, but you're exhausted, resentful, and wondering if this is all there is.
Cried in the car after a big win because it didn't feel like success. You achieved the thing, but instead of celebration, you immediately moved the goalpost and criticized yourself for not doing better.
Snapped at loved ones after long days, then felt guilty for not being present. You're so drained by the time you get home that you have nothing left for the people who matter most.
Found yourself numbing with food, wine, or scrolling late at night. Because slowing down feels uncomfortable, and you'd rather not feel what's underneath.
Collapsed into bed exhausted but your mind won't stop racing. Your body is done, but your brain is still running through everything you didn't finish and everything waiting for you tomorrow.
Said yes to things you don't want to do because it feels easier than saying no. The guilt of disappointing someone else feels worse than abandoning yourself.
Wondered "is this all there is?" or "how much longer can I keep this up?" You built the life everyone admires, but inside, it doesn't feel congruent.
Known you should take better care of yourself but always run out of time and energy. You know better, but you can't seem to do better, and that gap is eating you alive.
Built a life people admire but inside it doesn't feel congruent. The success looks good, but it doesn't feel good, and you're terrified to admit that out loud.
 
How to Stop Feeling Exhausted Despite Your Success
Here's what most people get wrong: they think the answer is more rest, better boundaries, or finally achieving the next big thing. But exhaustion isn't just a time management problem. It's a nervous system problem. It's an identity problem. It's a "you're living out of alignment with who you actually are" problem.
You can't think your way into feeling fulfilled. You can't goal-set your way out of burnout. And you sure as hell can't keep doing the same thing and expect different results.
What you need is to get honest about the patterns running underneath everything. The ones keeping you overcommitted, overwhelmed, and wondering how much longer you can keep this up. The ones that make success feel hollow no matter what you achieve.
That's what these five episodes will help you see. Not surface-level tips. Not productivity hacks. The actual context, the underlying operating system, that's been running your life without your permission.
Because when you shift the context, the content takes care of itself.
 
Join Lisa on the Camino de Santiago in September 2026
Lisa has walked the Camino de Santiago twice, and in September 2026, she's doing something different. She's facilitating a group pilgrimage experience, co-hosting with her best friend Sara Intonato (who was featured on last week's episode).
This isn't just a trip. It's a pilgrimage. Lisa is walking the same route that was such a massive part of her personal healing and growth journey in 2024. The route that cracked her open in all the right ways. The route that showed her what was possible when she got out of her own way. The route that showed her what she was holding onto, the pain she was attached to, and how to start to let it go so she could create the beautiful life she's living today.
Now Lisa and Sara are bringing a group with them to have their own transformative experience.
What you need to know about the Camino: The lessons you're meant to learn and the experiences you're meant to have will find you. You can't force them. You can't plan for them. But when you show up willing to be in relationship with yourself, when you create the space to actually listen, everything shifts.
This is a chance to be in deep relationship with yourself while also being supported with powerful coaching to help you pull out the lessons and embody them in ways you haven't been able to access before. Because awareness without integration changes nothing. And this pilgrimage is designed to help you do both.
If extraordinary experiences and personal growth are your goals for 2026, this is the perfect opportunity.Registration is open now. 
 
Ready to Stop Running on Fumes and Start Leading Yourself Powerfully?
If you're sitting here thinking, "I want my 2026 to be different. I'm done feeling like this," listen closely.
You can't think your way into a different life. You can't goal-set your way into feeling fulfilled. And you sure as hell can't keep doing the same thing and expect different results.
What you need is to get honest about the patterns running underneath everything. The ones keeping you exhausted, overcommitted, and wondering how much longer you can keep this up. The ones that make success feel hollow no matter what you achieve.
That's what the Congruency Audit is for. It's a free 15-minute call where we look at the gap between the success you've built on the outside and what you're actually feeling on the inside. We identify the exact pattern keeping you stuck, the cost of staying where you are, and what it's going to take for you to finally create success that feels as good as it looks.
Here's what you need to know: Lisa only has a few 1:1 coaching spots available for 2026. And every single one of her clients starts with this call. Not because she needs to sell you, but because you need to see what's actually possible when you stop running from yourself and start leading yourself powerfully.
Imagine this: Walking into 2026 with the emotional capacity to handle anything. The self-trust to make decisions that align with who you actually are, not who you think you should be. The ability to set boundaries without guilt, say no without over-explaining, and finally stop abandoning yourself to keep everyone else comfortable.
That's what powerful self-leadership looks like. And it's available to you right now.
But only if you're ready to stop waiting for permission and start choosing yourself.
Book your Congruency Audit now: lisacarpenter.ca/audit
Because 2026 is going to come whether you're ready or not. The only question is, are you going to spend another year feeling like this, or are you finally going to do something about it?
Connect with Lisa
Website: lisacarpenter.ca
Congruency Audit: lisacarpenter.ca/audit
Camino Pilgrimage (September 2026): Camino Invitation and Deposit Link
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lisacarpenterinc/
LinkedIn: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/lisacarpenterinc
This isn't about optimizing the version of yourself you built to survive. It's about creating congruence so the life you've built doesn't just look good, it finally feels right.
 
If you listen on Spotify: 
Open the Spotify app on your phone.
Search for Lisa Carpenter and open her podcast page.
Tap the three dots under the podcast description.
Choose Rate show from the menu.
Select your star rating and tap Submit.

How to Stop Feeling Overwhelmed this Holiday Season: Simple Nervous System Tools that Actually Work with Sara Intonato

Why do successful people feel the most overwhelmed during the holidays? You've built something impressive, you're capable of managing complex projects and leading teams, yet the moment the holidays arrive, you're barely hanging on. You're over-functioning for everyone else, saying yes when you mean no, and by the time you collapse into bed, your mind won't stop racing about everything you still need to do tomorrow.
Who is Sara Intonato?
Sara Intonato is the founder of Autism Changemakers, a parent coach, consultant, and bestselling author. She's also been a yoga teacher and nervous system practitioner for over 20 years. Her work is rooted in ancient, time-tested practices from her 11 trips to India to study Ashtanga yoga, supporting parents of nonspeaking autistic children to regulate their nervous systems in high-stakes moments where safety is a concern and regulation isn't optional.
Sara's Story: Why Ancient Practices Matter in Our Instant Gratification World
Sara took her first trip to India in her early 20s thinking she'd have a beautiful spiritual experience and get it out of her system. Instead, she discovered that to truly master something, there's no shortcut. You can't buy a certificate or complete a weekend training. You have to show up day after day, year after year, and let the practice change you.
What makes Sara different from the trendy breathwork facilitators flooding the coaching space is her commitment to teaching these practices properly. In India, she learned that advanced breathwork practices were withheld from students until they had a strong foundation because introducing them too soon would be "crazy making." They would move energy around so profoundly that students wouldn't be able to manage it.
This is exactly what Sara sees happening now in mainstream wellness culture. Coaches are throwing breathwork into their programs after minimal training, parents and professionals are trying to release trauma without knowing how to regulate what comes up, and people are more dysregulated than ever. Sara brings these ancient tools to her clients and students in bite-sized pieces that are safe and effective for all levels, because who needs more chaos in their life right now?
What we talk about in this episode:
Why the holidays trigger grief and overwhelm for high achievers. It's not just about being busy. The holidays stir up emotions that feel inconvenient, whether it's comparing your reality to what you thought life would look like, dealing with family dynamics that activate old wounds, or simply the pressure to make everything magical while you're running on fumes. This episode normalizes that you can feel successful and still struggle during this season.
The one-minute breathing practice that will ground you anywhere, anytime. Equal breathing through the nose (four counts in, four counts out) for just one minute is enough to shift your nervous system from reactive to regulated. No special equipment, no mantras, no perfect conditions required. Sara explains exactly how to do this practice and why engaging your throat slightly (like you're gargling) activates your vagus nerve and creates deeper regulation.
Why you can't help anyone when you're dysregulated. Sara works with parents managing aggressive behaviors and safety concerns with their children. The homework is always the same: regulate yourself first. When you're dysregulated, you escalate everyone around you. When you ground yourself, you create space for co-regulation. This applies whether you're parenting, leading a team, or trying to survive Christmas dinner with your in-laws.
The ice cube trick that interrupts spiraling thoughts instantly. When you can't escape the room or take a minute to breathe, grab some ice cubes. Hold them for one minute. The intense sensation forces you into presence because you literally can't think about anything else. It's a pattern interrupt that brings you back to your body so you can respond instead of react.
How to train your mind to concentrate using Zen Buddhist meditation. Set a timer for five minutes and count each breath (inhale one, exhale two, up to ten, then start over). Every time your mind wanders to Aunt Patty's comment or your to-do list, go back to one and start again. Don't be surprised if you don't get past two. This isn't about perfection, it's about observing where your mind goes without judgment and teaching it to concentrate on one thing: your breath.
Why reactivity is destroying our ability to make good decisions. We live in an Amazon Prime culture where everything is instant. But this reactivity is getting in the way of our functioning. We think every thought and feeling requires immediate action. This practice teaches your nervous system that it's okay to sit with discomfort, to not scratch the itchy nose, to let your foot fall asleep during meditation. Everything will pass. You won't die from waiting.
The real reason you can't feel holiday magic (and it's not the circumstances). Holiday magic is just presence. That's it. But how can you possibly enjoy being here now when your mind is in five different places? Sara shares how she creates magic by putting on Christmas music, baking, and allowing herself to just be in the moment because life will be plenty busy in January. The magic isn't external fairy dust, it's choosing to be present.
What your kids will actually remember about this season. It's not how many vegetables they ate or how organized the gift wrapping was. They'll remember how you felt. Your energy is what people experience from you. If you're emanating stress and overwhelm, that's what everyone will carry from their interactions with you. The quality of your life, your relationships, your work changes drastically when you take the time to regulate yourself.
This episode is for you if you've ever:
Felt like you're barely hanging on through the holidays, one comment away from snapping
Snapped at your kids or partner after a long day, then felt guilty for not being present
Numbed with food, wine, or scrolling because slowing down feels uncomfortable
Thought "I don't have time for mindfulness or nervous system practices"
Believed meditation and breathwork are too complicated or not for people like you
Been the strong one everyone leans on while you're quietly crumbling inside
Said yes to holiday commitments when you meant no because it feels easier
Collapsed into bed exhausted but your mind won't stop racing about tomorrow
Wondered "how much longer can I keep this up?"
Known you should take better care of yourself but always run out of time and energy
Built a life people admire but feel like you're missing the magic everyone else seems to experience
Felt reactive and stressed, robbing yourself and your family of presence and connection
How to Stop Being Reactive and Start Being Present
Here's what most people miss about nervous system regulation: they think it requires complicated practices, special training, or hours of time they don't have. So they do nothing. They stay in reactivity, they over-function for everyone else, and they wonder why the holidays feel so overwhelming instead of magical.
But Sara's work proves that regulation doesn't require perfection or massive time investments. It requires one minute. Four counts in, four counts out. Ice cubes in your hands when you can't escape the room. Counting your breath when your mind is spinning.
The cost of staying dysregulated isn't just that you feel stressed. It's that your children remember mom as a ball of stress. Your colleagues remember your overwhelm, not your competence. Your partner experiences your reactivity, not your love. You rob yourself of the presence and connection you're craving because you think you don't have time to regulate.
Ready to stop feeling overwhelmed and start feeling present?
If you're reading this and recognizing yourself, if you've been running on fumes for so long that you don't even remember what regulated feels like, it's time to stop.
The Congruency Audit is where we look at the gap between the success you've built on the outside and what you're actually feeling on the inside. We'll identify the exact patterns keeping you stuck in over-functioning and reactivity, the wounds driving your need to be strong for everyone else, and what it's going to take for you to finally create success that feels as good on the inside as it looks on the outside.
This isn't about adding more to your plate. It's about understanding why you keep saying yes when you mean no, why you can't give yourself permission to rest, and what needs to shift so you can finally stop running and start being present.
How To Thrive Through The Silly Season Workbook: https://lisacarpenter.ca/holidays/
Book your free Congruency Audit: lisacarpenter.ca/audit
And if you know you need more than a 15-minute call, if you're craving a complete reset where you can step away from the noise and actually remember who you are beneath all the doing, Sara and I are taking a small group on a walking pilgrimage along the Camino in Spain in September 2026.  Learn more HERE
This isn't a vacation. It's a sacred reset. Six days walking more than 100 kilometers with daily coaching, integration circles, yoga, breathwork, and deep conversations that help you release what's been weighing you down. Spaces are intentionally limited to ensure intimacy and depth of support. When it fills, it closes. Learn more at lisacarpenter.ca.
Connect with Sara Intonato:
Website: https://www.saraintonato.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sara.intonato/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sara-intonato-23036b172
 
If you listen on Spotify: 
Open the Spotify app on your phone.
Search for Lisa Carpenter and open her podcast page.
Tap the three dots under the podcast description.
Choose Rate show from the menu.
Select your star rating and tap Submit.
This isn't about optimizing the version of yourself you built to survive. It's about creating congruence so the life you've built doesn't just look good, it finally feels right.

The Cost of Being Strong: Why Over-Functioning is Keeping You Exhausted with Alex Snider

Why do I feel exhausted even though I'm successful?
You've built something impressive. You've proven yourself over and over. But you're exhausted, your body is breaking down, and no matter how much you achieve, it never feels like enough. You're the strong one everyone leans on, but you're quietly wondering how much longer you can keep this up.
If this sounds familiar, you're not alone. This is the hidden cost of being strong, and it's exactly what today's guest, Alex Snider, lived through before everything came crashing down.
Who is Alex Snider?
Alex Snider is the founder of Leaders Who Build, a leadership development company working with founders and executives who are scaling fast but struggling to lead themselves through it. Alex helps her clients integrate strategy with self-awareness so they can grow their businesses without losing themselves in the process. She's a certified executive coach who knows this terrain intimately because she's walked through it herself.
Alex's Story: When Strength Becomes Your Prison
During COVID, Alex was tripling her company in 10 months. On the outside, she was crushing it. But her back was in constant pain for 12 months straight. Her business partnership had turned toxic. Her personal relationship was unhealthy. She was over-giving in every direction, having emotional reactions that would take her out for days, and her body was physically breaking down from carrying the weight of it all.
Alex had gone from being hyper-independent and emotionally unavailable to swinging completely to the other extreme: over-functioning, people-pleasing, and seeking partnerships to fill the gaps she believed existed in herself. She was operating from scarcity, not abundance. She was trying to earn love by being helpful and valuable enough. And she was attracting emotionally unavailable people so she could over-compensate by being the caretaker.
The breakthrough came when Alex realized she was having outsized emotional reactions because she had given every ounce of energy to everyone else. There was nothing left for her. She had to face the uncomfortable truth: her patterns of over-functioning weren't making her a better leader or partner. They were destroying her health, her relationships, and her ability to feel the success she'd built.
What we talk about in this episode:
How over-functioning creates under-functioning in others. When you're constantly doing everything, carrying all the weight, and being the strong one, you're actually teaching the people around you to do less. You create the exact dynamic you resent.
What it's like to attract emotionally unavailable people when you're trying to earn love. Alex shares how her pattern of seeking partners from scarcity (looking for people to fill her perceived gaps) versus partnering from abundance completely shifted once she did the deep work on her worthiness.
The moment you wish someone would save you while hating yourself for even thinking it. This is the rock bottom moment for high-functioning, capable people. When you're so exhausted that you just want someone to rescue you, and you despise yourself for having that thought because you're supposed to be strong.
Why your "buttons" getting pushed reveals your unhealed wounds. Alex explains how the people closest to us push our buttons not because they're trying to hurt us, but because they're the only ones allowed close enough to reach those wounds. Her business partner was pushing the exact buttons related to her "not enough" story from childhood.
How to set boundaries without over-explaining yourself. Learning to say no as a complete sentence. Learning to set a boundary and hold it without justifying, defending, or convincing. This is the work of self-respect.
What self-trust actually means and how to rebuild it. Self-trust isn't built through grand gestures. It's built by keeping the small promises you make to yourself. Every time you break a promise to yourself, you're teaching yourself you don't matter.
The shift from "not enough" to "I am so in love with myself." Alex shares what it's like on the other side of the deep emotional work: the peace, the clarity, the ability to move through the world without constantly proving yourself or seeking external validation.
How success and freedom get redefined once you stop abandoning yourself. For Alex, freedom used to mean location independence. Now it means the freedom to prioritize her health, be where she wants when she wants, work with people she chooses, and have the bandwidth to do work that matters without worrying about compensation.
The spiral metaphor: why it looks like you're going in circles but you're actually going up. Alex has a spiral tattooed on her wrist because from one angle, personal growth looks like you're just repeating the same patterns. But shift your perspective and you see you're actually ascending, going around and up with each iteration.
This episode is for you if you've ever:
Felt like you're everyone's rock but you have no one to lean on when you're falling apart
Been the strong, capable one your entire life and secretly resented having to hold it all together
Attracted emotionally unavailable people so you could be the caretaker and feel needed
Achieved impressive milestones but still struggled to actually feel successful
Wished someone would just save you, then immediately hated yourself for being weak enough to think it
Had physical pain that wouldn't resolve no matter what you tried (and suspected it was related to emotional stress)
Found yourself over-functioning in your work and relationships while others under-function
Said yes to things you didn't want to do because it felt easier than setting a boundary
Built something that looks successful on the outside but feels exhausting on the inside
Known you need to take better care of yourself but always ran out of time and energy
How to stop over-functioning and start living
Alex's journey reveals something critical: you can't strategy your way out of patterns rooted in unworthiness. You can't hustle your way into feeling successful. And you can't keep abandoning yourself for achievement and expect to feel fulfilled.
The real work is getting honest about why you're over-giving. What you're getting from being everyone's rock. What you're avoiding by staying busy and helpful and indispensable. And whether you're willing to do the uncomfortable work of learning to love yourself enough to stop.
If you're ready to stop carrying it all and start building success that actually feels good, this conversation will show you what's possible on the other side.
Ready to stop over-functioning and start feeling successful?
The patterns Alex describes (over-functioning, people-pleasing, seeking external validation, struggling to feel your success) aren't character flaws. They're coping mechanisms you developed to stay safe. But they're costing you your health, your relationships, and your ability to enjoy the life you've built.
The Congruency Audit is where we look at the gap between the success you've built on the outside and what you're actually feeling on the inside. We'll identify the exact patterns keeping you stuck in over-functioning mode, the wounds driving your need to be everyone's rock, and what it's going to take for you to finally create success that feels as good on the inside as it looks on the outside.
This isn't about optimizing the version of yourself you built to survive. It's about creating congruence so the life you've built doesn't just look good, it finally feels right.
Book your free Congruency Audit: lisacarpenter.ca/audit
Connect with Alex Snider
Website: https://alexsnider.com/
LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/snideralex
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/leaderswhobuild/
 
If you listen on Spotify: 
Open the Spotify app on your phone.
Search for Lisa Carpenter and open her podcast page.
Tap the three dots under the podcast description.
Choose Rate show from the menu.
Select your star rating and tap Submit.

When Your Body Finally Says No: Chronic Stress, Hormones, and Redefining Success in Midlife with Lisa Corduff

Your body has been trying to tell you something for a while now. The persistent low mood you keep attributing to stress. The exhaustion that sleep doesn't fix. The feeling that no matter how well you take care of yourself, you're still running on fumes. What if it's not willpower you're missing? What if your body is finally saying no to a version of success that's costing you everything?
Lisa Corduff's Story
Lisa Corduff built a million-dollar business while her life was falling apart behind the scenes. Her husband Nick was struggling with addiction and mental health. She was solo parenting three young kids. And her business became the one place that felt purposeful when everything else was chaos.
She was creating non-stop. Documenting everything. Showing up in all the places because that's what successful entrepreneurs do, right? The frantic energy matched what was happening in her real life. And then Nick died in 2019. Lisa was 40 years old with three kids aged 5, 7, and 8, and she kept going because that's what you do when you're the only parent and three kids are depending on you.
But here's what nobody tells you about chronic stress: your body keeps the score. For years, Lisa would wake up every morning with her nervous system spiking, wondering "what's today going to bring?" She couldn't get back to sleep. Her system was wired for threat. And even after the acute crisis passed, her body remembered.
This year, everything shifted. At 45, Lisa finally got answers she didn't know she needed - ADHD and autism diagnoses that suddenly made her entire life make sense. She discovered her estrogen levels were tanked despite doing everything "right" - morning walks, good food, sleep hygiene, all of it. She realized that what she'd been calling stress was actually perimenopause masked by legitimate life chaos.
And she had to make a choice: keep running the frantic version of success she'd built, or completely redefine what success means when you're no longer willing to sacrifice your nervous system, your presence with your teenage kids, or your actual life for revenue targets.
In this raw, vulnerable conversation, Lisa reveals:
Why she went completely quiet this year after being one of the most visible entrepreneurs online for over a decade
The moment she realized her persistent low mood wasn't just grief or stress - it was disappearing estrogen
What getting diagnosed with ADHD and autism in her 40s taught her about the hustle she'd been celebrated for
How chronic stress from years of managing addiction, solo parenting, and business building dysregulated her nervous system (and why it didn't matter how well she took care of herself)
The shift from million-dollar years to redefining success around presence with her teenage kids
Why she had to let go of the "prove yourself through content" model and become what she calls a "lighthouse voice"
What it's really like to advocate for your own health when doctors dismiss perimenopausal women as overreacting to social media trends
How neurodivergence (ADHD + autism) shows up differently in high-achieving women who've learned to mask
The hidden cost of being everyone's rock while quietly crumbling inside
Why grief and addiction are the "unsexy topics" we need to talk about more
What happens when you finally honor your needs instead of overriding them with willpower
How to know when it's time to let go even when everything in you wants to fight to hang on
This episode is for you if you've ever:
Felt like your body is screaming at you, but you keep pushing through with willpower
Wondered why you're exhausted despite doing all the "right things" for your health
Built impressive success, but it doesn't feel the way you thought it would
Questioned whether the hustle is actually worth what it's costing you
Felt trapped between the business you built and the life you actually want to live
Attributed chronic stress symptoms to "just having a lot going on" instead of hormones
Struggled with persistent low mood that nothing seems to fix
Been told by doctors that your symptoms are "just stress" or "normal aging"
Felt like you're the only parent carrying it all while trying to build something meaningful
Wondered who you are when you're not performing or proving anymore
Realized the version of success that got you here won't get you where you want to go
Known you need to let go but everything in you wants to hold on tighter
About Lisa Corduff
Lisa Corduff is a successful entrepreneur, speaker, and writer currently exploring the complexities of "this moment in time" on her podcast Conversations with Lisa. A powerful storyteller, she teaches experts, coaches, thought-leaders, and business owners who want to stand out online how to expertly weave stories into their content for greater impact, connection, and trust. She believes storytelling is, as it always has been, an essential skill for our times.
Connect with Lisa:
Website: lisacorduff.com
Instagram: @lisacorduff
Facebook: Lisa Corduff
Podcast: Conversations with Lisa
Grief Notes is the perfect support on your grief journey
What’s the Story teaches business owners how to grow their impact and make more sales using the power of storytelling
Back to You in Midlife is eight powerful exercises for women who have found themselves lost and disconnected from themselves in midlife.
Ready to stop overriding your body's messages and start honoring what it's trying to tell you?
This conversation between Lisa Corduff and me isn't just about hormones or business strategy. It's about the wake-up call that comes when your body finally says no to a version of success built on chronic stress, over-functioning, and pushing through at all costs.
Maybe you've been attributing your exhaustion to "just being busy." Maybe you've been telling yourself the persistent low mood will pass once things calm down. Maybe you've been white-knuckling your way through because you don't know another way to operate.
But here's what Lisa and I both learned the hard way: you can't out-discipline a dysregulated nervous system. You can't out-supplement tanked hormones. And you can't build sustainable success while abandoning yourself in the process.
The Congruency Audit is where we look at the gap between the success you've built on the outside and what you're actually feeling on the inside. We'll identify the exact patterns keeping you stuck in chronic stress, the cost of continuing to override your body's messages, and what it's going to take for you to finally create success that doesn't require you to sacrifice your health, your presence, or who you're becoming.
Book your Congruency Audit: lisacarpenter.ca/audit
This isn't about optimizing the version of yourself you built to survive. It's about creating congruence so the life you've built doesn't just look good - it finally feels right. Success that feels as good on the inside as it looks on the outside.
 
If you listen on Spotify: 
Open the Spotify app on your phone.
Search for Lisa Carpenter and open her podcast page.
Tap the three dots under the podcast description.
Choose Rate show from the menu.
Select your star rating and tap Submit.