Congruent with Lisa Carpenter | The truth beneath success. Why it never feels like enough.

Love Without Losing Yourself: Redefining What Self-Love and Real Love Actually Mean

Everyone talks about self-love like it's a destination you reach after enough bubble baths and affirmations. But what if the real work of loving yourself is learning to stop abandoning who you are every time you enter a relationship? What if being "the loving one" has actually cost you more than you've been willing to admit?
In this raw, solo episode, Lisa dismantles everything you thought you knew about unconditional love, self-love, and what it takes to be in a healthy relationship without losing yourself in the process. She challenges the narrative that many of us, especially women, were raised with: that being loving means holding it all together, forgiving everything, and sacrificing yourself to make it work.
Drawing from her own journey of overgiving, abandoning herself, and ultimately setting boundaries in her current relationship after a major wake-up call, Lisa reveals why unconditional love has a place (with your children) but becomes toxic when applied to adult romantic relationships. She breaks down the difference between compassion for someone's humanity and tolerating harmful behavior, between loving someone deeply and staying when it costs you who you are.
This isn't about becoming cold or withholding love. It's about understanding that healthy love, both with yourself and others, requires discernment, reciprocity, and boundaries. It's about learning to meet yourself with the same compassion you've been giving everyone else, and recognizing that the relationship you have with yourself is the blueprint for every relationship you'll ever have.
In this episode, Lisa reveals:
Why unconditional love in romantic relationships often means you're abandoning yourself (and calling it devotion)
The specific cost of overgiving in relationships and how it erodes your self-trust
How forgiveness without repair is just using spirituality to avoid reality
The difference between loving someone's humanity and having conditions for access, partnership, and intimacy
Why boundaries don't block love, they protect it (and make love sustainable)
What healthy, mature love actually looks like: reciprocal, boundaried, grounded, accountable, spacious, and intentional
How to recognize when you're mistaking tolerance for love and endurance for devotion
The only real antidote to shame (and why most high-achievers struggle to give it to themselves)
Why self-integrity, keeping promises to yourself, is the foundation of self-love and self-trust
How to love someone deeply and still walk away if staying costs you who you are
The reflection questions that will show you exactly where you're out of alignment in your relationships
This episode is for you if you've ever:
Found yourself overgiving in relationships, always being the one who repairs, carries, and sacrifices
Believed that being loving meant forgiving everything without requiring accountability or repair
Lost yourself in a relationship because you were so focused on not losing the other person
Said yes to things you didn't want to do, shrinking yourself to be liked or chosen
Felt resentful in your relationship but kept telling yourself you just need to be more loving
Struggled to set boundaries because you equated boundaries with being cold or withholding
Extended endless compassion to others but met yourself with criticism when you fell short
Wondered why you can show up with such compassion for everyone else but can't seem to give it to yourself
Built a relationship that looks good on the outside but inside you've abandoned who you are
Knew you needed to leave a relationship but kept staying because you loved them (even though it was costing you everything)
About Lisa Carpenter
Lisa Carpenter is a Master Life Coach and host of the Congruent podcast. She works with ambitious, Type A professionals, executives, and entrepreneurs who look successful on the outside but feel exhausted, unfulfilled, or like it's never enough on the inside. Through her signature Congruency Loop™ process, Lisa helps clients stop living in Doing Mode and create success that feels as good as it looks. Find her at lisacarpenter.ca and on Instagram and LinkedIn @lisacarpentercoaching.
Ready to stop abandoning yourself in the name of love?
If you heard yourself in this episode, if you recognized the pattern of overgiving and calling it devotion, if you've been mistaking tolerance for love and endurance for commitment, it's time to get honest about what this is costing you.
Because here's the truth: you can love someone with your whole heart and still feel unseen, unsafe, and disconnected. You can love someone deeply and still completely lose yourself in the process. And the highest form of love has to include you.
The Congruency Audit is where we look at the gap between the relationships you've built and what you're actually feeling inside them. We'll identify the exact patterns keeping you stuck in overgiving, the wounds driving your need to earn love through sacrifice, and what it's going to take for you to finally create relationships (including the one with yourself) that feel as good on the inside as they look on the outside.
In 15 minutes, we'll pinpoint where you're abandoning yourself, what's driving that pattern, and the single biggest shift that will change everything. Because you didn't come this far to keep losing yourself in every relationship you enter.
Book your Congruency Audit: lisacarpenter.ca/audit
This isn't about optimizing the version of yourself you built to survive. It's about creating congruence so the relationships you're in don't require you to disappear. Success that feels as good on the inside as it looks on the outside starts with you including yourself in the love you give.
 
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The Hidden Cost of Financial Control: Why Successful Women Still Feel Broke with Lisa Chastain

You've done everything right. The degree, the career, the salary that finally exceeds what your parents made. You're checking all the boxes. But if you're honest, you still feel broke. Not because your bank account is empty, but because you never feel safe with money. You're controlling, budgeting, tracking every dollar, and somehow it still doesn't feel like enough. That constant financial anxiety? That's not about your numbers. It's about the unworthiness conversation running underneath every money decision you make.
Lisa Chastain grew up blue-collar on a dirt road in Las Vegas, watching her dad never make more than $60,000 a year. She did what good girls do: got the degree, landed the job with the 401k and health insurance, bought a house at 24, married at 25, had her kid at 28. She was winning. Until she wasn't.
When her husband lost his job nine months after she left her career to stay home, everything unraveled. The $100,000 in her 401k? Drained trying to hold it all together and start her financial advisor business. The perfect marriage? Hiding active addiction and chaos. The life that looked so good from the outside? Completely unsustainable on the inside.
Lisa spent years trying to control her way to safety—budgeting harder, fixing her husband, making herself smaller, believing if she just did more, it would finally feel secure. But control was never the answer. The real work was healing the "not enough" conversation that made her use money to prove her worth, use debt to fill voids that weren't fillable with things, and stay in toxic situations because leaving felt like failure.
Through divorce, a public rebound relationship with another addict, and what she calls her "come to Jesus moment," Lisa rebuilt her entire relationship with money. She stopped budgeting. She redefined success beyond bank account balances. She learned to use debt strategically instead of shamefully. And she made it her mission to help other women do the same—because financial shame keeps successful women stuck in scarcity longer than actual money problems ever could.
Today, Lisa is a nationally recognized personal finance coach, bestselling author of Stop Budgeting, Start Living, host of The Real Money Podcast, and the woman teaching thousands of women how to stop controlling money and start trusting themselves with it.
 
In this raw, vulnerable conversation, Lisa reveals:
Why budgeting is actually a control mechanism designed to keep women feeling ashamed of their financial decisions (and what to do instead)
The hidden cost of financial control: how trying to manage every dollar keeps you feeling broke no matter how much you make
Why debt isn't the problem—the unworthiness conversation driving your spending is
How men are championed for using debt strategically while women are shamed for having $5,000 on a credit card
The real reason successful women still live paycheck to paycheck despite good salaries: they're banking out of emotion, not data
Why money amplifies who you already are (and what happens when you put money on top of an "unworthy" story)
How to build self-trust with money through financial forecasting instead of white-knuckling a budget
The generational shame women carry around money ownership and decision-making (and why it wasn't even legal for women to own their own accounts until less than 100 years ago)
What redefining success actually looks like when you stop attaching it to external markers
The exact moment Lisa realized she was the problem—and also the solution
 
This episode is for you if you've ever:
Done everything "right" financially but still feel like you're one emergency away from falling apart
Felt successful on paper but broke in your nervous system—constantly anxious about money no matter what your bank account says
Controlled and budgeted your way through life only to realize you still don't feel safe with money
Carried shame about debt, spending decisions, or financial mistakes that men would be championed for taking
Made good money but somehow still felt like it was never enough
Used spending or debt to fill a void that wasn't actually fillable with things
Known you should feel more financially secure than you do, but the anxiety won't go away
Realized you're trying to control money because you don't trust yourself with it
 
Guest Bio
Lisa Chastain is a nationally recognized Personal Finance Coach and bestselling author with over 20 years of experience helping women take control of their money. Featured in CNBC, O – The Oprah Magazine, Fortune, Business Insider, and Forbes, Lisa is known for her fresh, no-shame approach to financial empowerment. After burning through $100,000 and nearly going broke, she rebuilt her life and made it her mission to help women fix their finances—without rigid budgets.
In 2016, she launched her coaching business to teach women how to track money intentionally, invest wisely, and create sustainable wealth. Today, she's the host of The Real Money Podcast and the bestselling author of Stop Budgeting, Start Living, which challenges outdated money rules and inspires financial confidence.
Lisa's work focuses on money mindset, leadership, and financial emotional intelligence, guiding clients and organizations to achieve long-term stability and freedom. She has been featured in Cosmopolitan, NBC News, MSN Money, Fortune, and Entrepreneur Magazine, and was named one of Las Vegas Women Magazine's "People to Watch."
Find Lisa:
Website: lisachastain.com
Podcast: The Real Money Podcast: https://lisachastain.com/podcast/
Book: Stop Budgeting, Start Living: Transform Your Money Mindset, Transform Your Life (available on Amazon)
Instagram: @realmoneywithlisa 
90-Day Money Bootcamp launching quarterly
4-Day Intensive Healing Retreats
 
Ready to stop controlling money and start trusting yourself with it?
If Lisa's story hit close to home, it's because you're carrying the same pattern: doing everything right, checking all the boxes, making good money, but still feeling broke, unsafe, and like it's never enough.
Here's the truth: That anxiety isn't about your bank account balance. It's about the unworthiness conversation running underneath every financial decision you make. The shame you carry about debt. The belief that if you just budget harder, control tighter, manage better, you'll finally feel safe. But control is never the answer. Self-trust is.
You're exhausted from white-knuckling your way through your financial life. You're collapsing into bed at night, mind racing about money, even though objectively you're doing fine. You snap at your partner about spending. You feel guilty every time you buy something for yourself. You've built a life that looks successful on the outside, but inside it doesn't feel congruent.
The Congruency Audit is where we look at the gap between the financial success you've built on the outside and what you're actually feeling on the inside. We'll identify the exact patterns keeping you stuck in financial control instead of self-trust, the wounds driving your relationship with money, and what it's going to take for you to finally create success that feels as good on the inside as it looks on the outside.
This isn't about budgeting harder. This isn't about more spreadsheets. This is about healing the "not enough" story that's been running your financial life since childhood—so you can finally step into the version of you who trusts herself with money, makes decisions from abundance instead of scarcity, and redefines success on your own terms.
Book your Congruency Audit: lisacarpenter.ca/audit
If you listen on Spotify: 
Open the Spotify app on your phone.
Search for Lisa Carpenter and open her podcast page.
Tap the three dots under the podcast description.
Choose Rate show from the menu.
Select your star rating and tap Submit.

When Being Strong and Capable Becomes Your Prison: Learning to Soften Without Losing Your Edge with Manja Horner

What if your greatest strength is actually your prison? What if the capability everyone admires, the drive that built your success, the resilience that got you through everything, is the very thing keeping you exhausted, overwhelmed, and unable to let anything be easy?
Manja Horner learned early that she couldn't be a bother. With an older sister battling cancer and parents stretched beyond capacity, four-year-old Manja absorbed a profound lesson: be strong, be capable, never add to the burden. That pattern of over-functioning became her operating system, driving her to perfectionism, straight A's, a full-ride scholarship, and eventually a high-powered corporate career at BMO's Institute for Learning.
On the outside, Manja was killing it. Executive track. Great salary. Respect. Security. But when she was asked to pour months of her life into a project she didn't believe in, something shifted. She walked away from the comfort, the salary, the stability, because her integrity mattered more than her safety. She sold a rental property to fund her business, had three small kids, and her husband, a police officer whose core values are security and stability, watched his wife blow up their predictable life.
Fast forward to today: Manja runs a thriving learning and development company serving the skilled trades industry, she's pioneering AI applications to capture retiring tradespeople's wisdom, she's writing a book, raising three kids, doing somatic therapy, acupuncture, and EMDR to heal childhood wounds. She's accomplished, capable, and deeply successful.
And her biggest challenge? Learning that ease is safe. Learning to soften without losing her edge. Learning that she doesn't have to make everything uncomfortable just because comfort feels dangerous.
In this raw, vulnerable conversation, Manja reveals:
The hidden cost of learning "don't be a bother" as a child and how it shows up as chronic over-functioning in adulthood
Why perfectionism isn't about excellence, it's about not being judged (and how she's learning to iterate instead)
The moment she walked away from corporate security because integrity mattered more than safety, and what that cost her marriage
How being "intimidating" is often just armor for women who never learned they're allowed to take up space
Why driven, ambitious women gravitate toward discomfort because ease actually doesn't feel safe in their nervous system
The somatic reality of high-functioning freeze and what it takes to finally soften
How therapy, EMDR, and the Big Leap helped her expand her capacity for joy, ease, and contentment
Why "it is what it is" is a cop-out sentence that keeps you stuck in patterns you could actually change
What it means to be the strong, capable one everyone relies on while quietly crumbling under the weight of your own standards
The marriage work required when one partner's core value is security and the other can't stop shaking the cage
This episode is for you if you've ever:
Been told you're intimidating when you're just trying to belong
Left a room wondering if you were "too much" or took up too much space
Walked away from security because staying would have cost you your integrity
Found yourself making things harder than they need to be because ease feels unsafe
Collapsed into bed exhausted while your mind races through tomorrow's to-do list
Snapped at the people you love most after a long day of holding it together for everyone else
Wondered why you can't just relax, chill out, or enjoy the success you've built
Been praised for your strength while secretly feeling trapped by your own capability
Known you're over-functioning but can't figure out how to stop without everything falling apart
Guest Bio
Manja Horner is a learning experience strategist and trusted advisor to companies who want to transform their business with training and team procedures and processes in a seamless, digital and easy-to-implement system. As founder of Boost, she's on a mission to create amazing employee experiences and get results for leaders in the skilled trades. She helps clients in the skilled trades and construction create inspiring, enriching, and all-encompassing experiences for better employee retention, integration, and education. Manja is also the author of the forthcoming book Passing the Torch in the Trades and a former corporate learning executive at a leading financial institution who left security to build a business rooted in integrity and impact.
Find Manja on:Instagram: @Manja_hornerLinkedInBoost
 
Ready to stop making everything harder than it needs to be?
If Manja's story landed, it's because you recognize yourself in it. You're strong, capable, the one everyone turns to. You've built something impressive. But you're exhausted. You can't remember the last time something felt easy. And the idea of softening, of allowing ease, of not carrying it all? It terrifies you because doing feels safer than being.
Here's what nobody tells you: Your strength isn't the problem. Your capability isn't the problem. The problem is that you learned a long time ago that being a burden wasn't safe, so you became the opposite. You became the rock. And now you're carrying weight that was never yours to carry.
The Congruency Audit is where we look at the gap between the success you've built on the outside and the exhaustion you're feeling on the inside. We'll identify the exact patterns keeping you stuck in over-functioning, the childhood wounds driving your need to never be a bother, and what it's going to take for you to finally create success that feels as good on the inside as it looks on the outside.
This isn't about doing more or being better. This is about learning that ease is safe. That softening doesn't mean losing your edge. That you can be strong AND allow support. That you can be capable AND let things be easy.
Book your Congruency Audit: lisacarpenter.ca/audit
This isn't about optimizing the version of yourself you built to survive. It's about creating congruence so the life you've built doesn't just look good, it finally feels right.
 
If you listen on Spotify: 
Open the Spotify app on your phone.
Search for Lisa Carpenter and open her podcast page.
Tap the three dots under the podcast description.
Choose Rate show from the menu.
Select your star rating and tap Submit.

The Hidden Cost of Watching Your Mom Overwork with Emma Jory

You're over-giving because you're terrified no one will see your value. You know you're doing it. You're even aware it's exhausting you. But awareness without understanding why you do it? That just fuels the shame cycle.
Emma came to this coaching session with a question about imposter syndrome. Twenty-five years of teaching, consistently getting great results with her clients, and still doubting whether she's doing enough or good enough. Still uncomfortable asking for money. Still over-giving in every session because maybe, just maybe, if she gives enough, they'll finally see her value.
But here's what I don't coach to: I don't coach to imposter syndrome. I coach to the operating system underneath producing that symptom.
Within minutes, we uncovered what was really running the show. Emma watched her mom overwork her entire childhood. Watched her put herself last, neglect her health, tie her worth to productivity, and never value herself. Emma loved her mom. So she learned this is what you do. You work until you're exhausted. You give until there's nothing left. You prove your value through doing.
And now, decades later, Emma's middle-aged, looking in the mirror, and seeing her mom staring back at her.
 
In this coaching episode, you'll hear me guide Emma through:
Why she's been working so hard to get her clients' acceptance and what part of her is driving that hustle for approval
The exact moment she realized she's been modeling her mom's pattern of tying worth to productivity without even knowing she picked it up
How loving someone who couldn't value themselves creates an unconscious loyalty to suffering—and why it feels like betrayal to treat yourself better than they treated themselves
The practice of emotional neutrality when asking for money so she can witness the discomfort without letting it run her choices
Why "I want more money" and "I want freedom" are abstract goals that keep high-achievers trapped in chasing their tail instead of actually creating what they want
How to stop recreating your parent's life and become the conscious creator of your own by getting crystal clear on your values and boundaries
The tool for parenting the part of you that innocently picked up misinformed stories about your value—so you can take different action even while feeling uncomfortable
This episode is for you if:
You've built success but still feel like you have to over-give to prove your value
You're aware of your patterns but can't seem to change them, which just makes you feel more shame
You watched a parent sacrifice themselves through overwork and now you're doing the same thing
You're uncomfortable asking for money even though you deliver exceptional results
You chase "more money" or "freedom" but never feel like you're actually getting there
You want to understand what it's like to work with a Master Coach who sees the operating system underneath your surface symptoms
This is what it sounds like to work with a coach who doesn't address what you think the problem is. I go after the beliefs and identity driving the behavior. If you've been telling yourself it's just imposter syndrome when it's actually about worthiness, tune in.
 
Ready to explore your own patterns?
What pattern are you repeating that you watched growing up? What are you getting from over-giving, from tying your worth to productivity, from staying exhausted, that you won't admit?
Emma came in thinking we'd coach on imposter syndrome. But the real work was uncovering the operating system underneath that was running her life. And I'm willing to bet there's an operating system running yours too.
If you're done perpetuating the suffering, if you're ready to stop recreating what you watched and start becoming the conscious creator of your own life, book a free Congruency Audit with my team at lisacarpenter.ca/audit. We'll identify what's working, what's out of sync, and the single biggest opportunity to bring your life, work, and self back into congruence.
What pattern are you ready to stop repeating?
 
Connect with Lisa:
Website: lisacarpenter.ca
Podcast: lisacarpenter.ca/podcast
Coaching + Retreats: lisacarpenter.ca/coachingretreat
 
If you listen on Spotify: 
Open the Spotify app on your phone.
Search for Lisa Carpenter and open her podcast page.
Tap the three dots under the podcast description.
Choose Rate show from the menu.
Select your star rating and tap Submit.
 

The Cost of Playing Small: What Happens When Making Things Look Perfect Keeps You From Being Real with Sarah Albritton

You've built something impressive. From the outside, it all looks good. But if you're honest with yourself, you've been playing small. Making things look perfect so no one sees the truth underneath. Smiling through the exhaustion. Saying "I'm just" when someone recognizes your power. Shrinking yourself so others feel comfortable.
Today's guest knows this pattern intimately because she lived it for years.
Sarah Albritton has spent over 30 years as the trusted catalyst for high-impact leaders who've achieved massive success but know something's still missing. She works with CEOs, founders, and senior executives who look unstoppable from the outside yet privately feel their compass spinning. Her clients include billion-dollar business leaders and visionary founders who've realized the old playbook isn't working anymore.
But before she was coaching the world's most accomplished leaders, Sarah was the woman who made everything look perfect while quietly crumbling inside. The high achiever with imposter syndrome who spent 20 years in a marriage where she wasn't fully present. The capable woman who carried chronic back pain because her body was screaming what she wouldn't say out loud. The leader who walked into rooms full of elite coaches and heard herself say "I'm just a coach here, just like everybody else" in that high-pitched little voice, watching doors close behind people's eyes.
Until the day she couldn't keep playing small anymore.
In this raw, vulnerable conversation, Sarah reveals what it actually costs to make things look perfect when you're not being real. The physical pain her body carried from years of inauthenticity. The devastating betrayal when her entire friend group turned on her during her divorce, not just walking away but actively trying to destroy her. The moment at a coaching seminar when she caught herself shrinking and made the conscious choice to show up bigger. And how learning to treat her body as her hero instead of her villain changed everything.
In this conversation, Sarah shares:
The real cost of playing small: how making things look perfect on the outside creates chronic pain, exhaustion, and a complete erosion of self-trust
Why imposter syndrome isn't humility, it's hiding your power, and the exact moment she chose to stop shrinking
What happens to your body when you spend years being inauthentic (and why her chronic back pain disappeared the moment she got real)
The difference between corporate leaders who've been conditioned not to trust themselves and entrepreneurs who struggle to trust anyone else
Why "who, question mark, me, exclamation point" is the energy shift that changes everything
The devastating cost of betrayal and how therapy helped her see that other people's reactions to her getting real had nothing to do with her
What her 15-year-old son said that made her realize the gift of getting real: "When you decided to get real, you made it possible for the rest of us to get real"
How she went from chasing dean positions and status to redefining success as "not needing a definition of success"
Why humans are terrible judges of their own impact and what becomes available when you stop needing proof
The work she's building now: Leading with Backbone, helping both business leaders and coaches show up courageously instead of hiding behind neutrality
This episode is for you if you've ever:
Caught yourself saying "I'm just" when someone recognized your power or capability
Made everything look perfect on the outside while quietly crumbling on the inside
Felt chronic pain, exhaustion, or physical symptoms you can't explain (and wondered if your body is trying to tell you something)
Played small so others would feel comfortable, then resented yourself for shrinking
Built a life that looks impressive but doesn't feel real, doesn't feel like you
Lost trust in yourself after betrayal and wondered if you'll ever feel safe again
Known you're capable of so much more but kept yourself small to stay safe
Wondered what would happen if you actually showed up as big as you really are
Sarah Albritton is a transformational coach and leadership catalyst who has spent over 30 years working with the world's most accomplished leaders. She's known for her rare ability to deliver what she calls "catalytic jolts of clarity," helping CEOs, founders, and senior executives torch limiting patterns and reclaim aligned leadership. Working from deep 1:1 coaching to transformative team sessions to soul-awakening retreats at her North Carolina farm, Sarah balances self-compassion with radical candor and a refusal to sugarcoat. Her new program, Leading with Backbone, helps both business leaders and coaches show up courageously with truth. Find her at sarahcalbritton.com and on LinkedIn and Instagram @sarahcalbritton.
Ready to stop playing small?
If Sarah's story hit close to home, it's because you're living some version of it right now. You've built something that looks good on the outside. People think you have it together. But you know the truth. You're playing smaller than you're capable of. Making things look perfect so no one sees how exhausted you really are. Shrinking yourself so others feel comfortable while your body carries the weight of everything you're not saying.
Here's what that costs you: your energy, your presence, your health, your relationships, and your ability to actually feel the success you've built. You collapse into bed exhausted but can't sleep because your mind won't stop racing. You snap at the people you love most, then feel guilty for not being present. You know you should take better care of yourself but you always run out of time and energy. You've built a life people admire but inside it doesn't feel congruent.
The Congruency Audit is where we look at the gap between the success you've built on the outside and what you're actually feeling on the inside. We'll identify the exact patterns keeping you stuck in playing small, the wounds driving your need to make things look perfect, and what it's going to take for you to finally show up as big as you actually are. This isn't about optimizing the version of yourself you built to survive. It's about creating congruence so the life you've built doesn't just look good, it finally feels right.
Book your Congruency Audit: lisacarpenter.ca/audit
Success that feels as good on the inside as it looks on the outside.
 
If you listen on Spotify:
Open the Spotify app on your phone.
Search for Lisa Carpenter and open her podcast page.
Tap the three dots under the podcast description.
Choose Rate show from the menu.
Select your star rating and tap Submit.

Hormone Health and The Truth About Self-Leadership

Hormones can change how you feel, but they don't change who you are. And no prescription can fix a life built on burnout and self-abandonment.
In this episode, I'm getting real about what's happening in my own body right now, hormones out of whack again, depression, anxiety, fatigue, memory loss, and a complete loss of zest for life. My get-up and go has left the building.
But here's what I know: what I'm feeling is real, but it doesn't make it true.
I've been on HRT for years. I take amazing care of myself physically. I work with practitioners. I've done decades of emotional work. And I'm still navigating this.
Because HRT can support your symptoms, but it's not a magic bullet for all the emotional work you've been avoiding. Taking physically good care of yourself doesn't mean you've taken emotionally good care of yourself.
Your hormones don't tank out of nowhere—they reflect how you've been living. The chronic stress, the over-functioning, the self-abandonment, the patterns you've normalized for so long you don't even see them anymore.
This episode is for high-achieving women in perimenopause, menopause, or post-menopause who are exhausted, overwhelmed, and wondering if they're losing their minds. If you're ready to blow up your life or feeling like a victim of your own body, this conversation will challenge everything you think you know about hormone health.
I break down what hormones can do, what they can't do, and the deeper self-leadership work your body is demanding you finally pay attention to.
Because hormone therapy can change your chemistry, but only you can change your capacity.
 
Key Takeaways
The critical distinction: What you're feeling is real, but it doesn't make it true. Feelings are data, not facts
Why HRT isn't enough: Hormone replacement can stabilize physiology but cannot regulate your nervous system. That's your job
The real cause of hormone chaos: How chronic stress, over-functioning, emotional suppression, and self-abandonment drive hormonal decline
Physical vs emotional self-care: Taking physically good care of yourself doesn't mean you've taken emotionally good care of yourself
Common perimenopause symptoms: Depression, anxiety, brain fog, fatigue, dry eyes, memory loss, poor workout recovery, loss of zest for life
The hormone-gut connection: Why your gut health directly impacts your hormones and moods. 95% of serotonin is made in your gut
Foundations that matter: Sleep, protein and fiber at every meal, movement, minerals and hydration, downtime, and boundaries
What separates women who blow up their lives from women who transform: Self-leadership, emotional responsibility, and the courage to examine your patterns
The questions you need to ask yourself: What are you getting from staying in chaos? How long will you blame your hormones instead of admitting you're a big part of the problem?
Peri/menopause as invitation: This phase is asking you to finally know yourself more deeply and address the emotional work you've been avoiding
 
Resources Mentioned
Hormone & Health Practitioners:
Ciara Foy (@ciarafoyinc) - Specializes in hormone health and weight management for high-achievers over 40
Jenn Pike (@jennpike) - Nutrition and exercise expert with extensive online resources
Alyssa Morra (@alyssamorragutexpert) - Gut health specialist focused on digestive wellness and hormonal balance
Take the Next Step
If you're exhausted from feeling like a victim of your own body, if you recognize yourself in this episode and you're ready to lead yourself differently, book a free 15-minute Congruency Audit.
We'll identify exactly where you're out of congruence with yourself and what needs to shift so you can navigate this phase with awareness instead of reactivity, with self-leadership instead of self-abandonment.
Book your Congruency Audit

When The Fear of Not Being Enough Keeps You From Becoming Enough with Laurie-Ann Murabito

You're afraid of not feeling good enough. Meanwhile, you wake up every day already feeling that way. So what exactly are you protecting yourself from?
In this live coaching episode, I work with Laurie-Ann Murabito, a successful speaking coach who's built a beautiful business but came to me feeling stuck. Not confident enough. Not getting the engagement she wanted. Not seeing the results she expected. So she stopped promoting her work and held back from the bigger vision she knew she was being called toward.
Within minutes of our session, I exposed the pattern she was living: She was afraid of not feeling good enough, but she was already experiencing that feeling every single day. She was protecting herself from what she was already living.
This is imposter syndrome in its most insidious form. Not the dramatic "I'm a fraud" moments, but the quiet, daily erosion of confidence that keeps accomplished people playing small. Laurie-Ann had all the evidence she needed that she was creating real results. Clients hiring her out of the blue after listening silently for months. People telling her she was their only choice. But she wasn't looking at that data. She was hanging her confidence on likes, comments, and downloads that would never be enough.
Here's where the coaching got interesting: I asked her what she was getting from staying stuck that she wouldn't admit. What was the real payoff for playing small? Her answer shifted everything: "I get to stay right here. I don't have to step into that bigger role."
This is the work I do. I don't coach to what you think the problem is. I coach to the operating system underneath that's producing all those symptoms. While most coaches would focus on confidence-building exercises or mindset mantras, I go after the unconscious pattern that's creating the lack of confidence in the first place.
When Laurie-Ann described the vision she's been holding back from, building a world-class speaking and communication company, tears came. That's when I knew we hit the real issue. This wasn't about confidence. It was about identity. Who would she need to become to step into that vision? And what parts of herself would she need to stop being loyal to?
I guided Laurie-Ann to see that she was choosing evidence that kept her small because looking at evidence of her real impact would require her to step up. And stepping up meant leaving behind the familiar version of herself that feels safe, even when it's exhausting.
In this coaching episode, you'll hear me guide Laurie-Ann through:
Why she was making her confidence conditional on external results instead of recognizing that doing the work itself was enough
The unconscious payoff of staying stuck and how it was protecting her from having to step into a bigger role
How she was choosing to look at data that supported staying small while ignoring evidence that she was creating real results
The exact question that exposed the paradox: being afraid of what she was already experiencing every day
The practice of naming the part of her that believes she's not enough so it stops running her life (meet Gertrude)
The difference between acknowledging limiting voices and tolerating them
How to stop protecting yourself from what you're already living
This episode is for you if:
You've built success but don't feel successful
You're accomplished on the outside but struggling with confidence internally
You have a bigger vision but keep finding reasons to stay where you are
You're tired of waiting to feel ready before you take action
You want to understand what it's like to work with me
This is what it sounds like to work with a Master Coach who sees the operating system underneath your surface symptoms. If you've been holding back from something bigger, tune in.
Ready to explore your own patterns?
Book a free 15-minute Congruency Audit at lisacarpenter.ca/audit. We'll identify what's working, what's out of sync, and the single biggest opportunity to bring your life, work, and self back into congruence.

When Imposter Syndrome Looks Like Strategy (And Why Your Partnerships Might Be Hiding Your Genius) with Andrea Janzen

You tell yourself you're being strategic. That you're building collaborations, finding complementary skill sets, creating win-win partnerships. But what if the real reason you keep looking for someone else to do it with you is because you don't believe you're enough on your own?
Andrea Janzen built a wildly successful leadership development company in one of the most male-dominated industries on the planet: construction. She's coached over 1,000 construction professionals, works with multinational companies, hosts the Ambition Theory Podcast, and is a Forbes contributor. On the outside, she's absolutely killing it.
But for years, Andrea was running a story underneath all that success. A story that said she wasn't legitimate without an HR background. That she needed partners to fill her gaps. That her energy and authentic approach weren't enough to carry her business forward.
The cost? She almost missed massive opportunities. She hid her greatest strengths. She exhausted herself trying to prove her worth. And even when she was achieving goals she'd journaled about years earlier, she couldn't let herself feel successful.
Until a client said five words that changed everything: "We just want to work with you."
In this raw, vulnerable conversation, Andrea reveals:
The "not enough" story that drove her to seek business partners from scarcity, not strategy (and how to tell the difference)
Why high achievers mistake imposter syndrome for missing credentials, when the real issue is hiding their genius
The moment a client reflected back what she couldn't see in herself (and why we need mirrors when building something new)
How over-functioning and resentment are your body's way of telling you you've abandoned personal responsibility
Why she can journal about goals, achieve them years later, and still not feel successful (and what actually needs to shift)
The practice of looking back at where you were five years ago as medicine for "never enough"
How setting a 3pm work boundary and a shutdown ritual actually accelerated her business growth
Why Santa now deposits $100/month for mandatory date nights (and what her kids are learning about prioritizing relationships)
The difference between partnerships built from lack versus partnerships built from abundance
Why solo time in nature, crime novels at the library, and protecting her energy are non-negotiables for showing up powerfully
This episode is for you if you've ever:
Told yourself you needed more credentials, certifications, or partners before you could really go for it
Built something impressive but secretly felt like an imposter the entire time
Looked for others to validate or legitimize what you're creating instead of trusting yourself
Achieved goals you set years ago but moved the bar so fast you never celebrated
Known you were over-functioning and carrying everything, then resented others for not stepping up
Felt more comfortable being "strategic" about collaboration than admitting you're scared to do it alone
Wondered if your authentic energy and approach could really be enough in a world that values traditional credentials
 
About Andrea Janzen:
Andrea Janzen is a Certified Executive Coach with an MBA, the host of the Ambition Theory Podcast, a Forbes contributor, and a top-rated speaker. She is passionate about coaching construction professionals to develop themselves, set leadership goals, and get results. Since 2018, Andrea has coached and trained over 1,000 construction professionals. Before becoming a coach, Andrea was a marketing leader who worked on some of the world's best-known brands.
Connect with Andrea:
Ambition Theory
Ambition Theory Podcast
Leadership Accelerator for Women in Construction
Building Better Report
 
Ready to stop hiding behind partnerships and step into what you're actually capable of?
Here's what Andrea's story reveals: The "not enough" story doesn't go away with more credentials, more partners, or more proof. It goes away when you finally see what's been true all along, that your energy, your authentic approach, your unique way of seeing things, that's not a gap to fill. That's your genius.
But most high achievers can't see this on their own. We need someone to hold up the mirror, to name the pattern we're running, to show us where we're hiding instead of leading.
That's exactly what the Congruency Audit does.
The Congruency Audit is where we look at the gap between the success you've built on the outside and what you're actually feeling on the inside. We'll identify the exact "not enough" story keeping you stuck, the ways you're over-functioning or seeking external validation instead of trusting yourself, and what it's going to take for you to finally create success that feels as good on the inside as it looks on the outside.
If Andrea's story hit you somewhere deep, if you recognized yourself in the pattern of seeking partners from scarcity or achieving goals without feeling successful, this call is for you.
Book your Congruency Audit
This isn't about optimizing the version of yourself you built to survive. It's about creating congruence so the life you've built doesn't just look good, it finally feels right.

When Playing It Safe Almost Cost Her Everything (And the Breaking Point That Changed Her Life) with Tracy Goodwin

What if the very thing you thought was keeping you safe was actually suffocating your soul?
Tracy Goodwin had a gift she couldn't deny. She could hear things in people's voices that no one else could hear, seven layers of sound that revealed scars, wounds, and the real person buried beneath years of conditioning. But instead of stepping into that power, she played it safe. She taught traditional voice coaching while her radical insights screamed to get out.
Then the hate came. International hate clubs. Requests to appear on national television to be humiliated on purpose. Daily emails telling her she was an "effing piece of" nothing, that she shouldn't exist, that she should be dead. Her life was literally threatened because she wouldn't accommodate someone's request, because she wouldn't conform to what others wanted her to be.
So she went into hiding. She refinished furniture for years, sanding away layers of old paint and varnish while God sanded away her excuses.
Until she heard the voice she'd been running from: "What are you doing? I didn't put you down there to finish furniture. I need you back in the game."
Within 24 hours, the concept of psychology of the voice became crystal clear.
 
In this raw, vulnerable conversation, Tracy reveals:
The self-inflicted torture of knowing your truth but staying paralyzed by fear and people-pleasing
How childhood wounds of being silenced before age five show up in the way you communicate today
The moment she realized furniture refinishing was a metaphor for her real work: sanding away the fabricated layers of who people think they're supposed to be
Why staying safe in people-pleasing mode almost made her lose her mind
The progression of redefining success from wanting to be a famous celebrity in her 20s, to chasing money in her 30s, to her mission at 50: touching every life that must hear from her before she's gone
How she went from taking months to recover from conflict to catching herself in minutes
The hardest practice of all: meeting yourself with compassion when you've spent a lifetime being as hard on yourself as the world has been on you
Why your voice is the literal orchestra of your heart, and there is someone desperately waiting for your message
The five core wounds that stop high performers from owning their greatness: fear of judgment, fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, sense of belonging, and worthiness
 
This episode is for you if you've ever:
Felt successful on the outside while quietly crumbling on the inside
Known you had a gift but been too terrified to fully step into it
Stayed small to keep others comfortable or avoid judgment
Wondered "is this all there is?" while everyone else thinks you have it all figured out
Struggled to give yourself the compassion you so freely give to others
Been paralyzed by the gap between what you know you're capable of and what you're actually doing
 
Tracy Goodwin is a voice decoder, researcher, and voice behavioralist who works with the psychology of the voice. She helps high-performing leaders understand how their voice holds their scars, wounds, and power, ultimately getting them back to who they were put on this earth to be versus who the world told them to be.
Find Tracy at:
Instagram/TikTok: @‌captivatetherroom
Website: Home
LinkedIn: Tracy A. Goodwin
 
Ready to stop playing it safe with your own life?
If Tracy's story hit you in the chest, if you recognized yourself in the pattern of knowing your truth but staying paralyzed by fear, it's time to stop hiding behind the version of success that's quietly killing you.
The congruency audit is where we look at the gap between the success you've built on the outside and what you're actually feeling on the inside. We'll identify the exact patterns keeping you stuck in the "never enough" cycle, the wounds driving your over-responsibility, and what it's going to take for you to finally create success that feels as good on the inside as it looks on the outside.
No more self-inflicted torture of knowing there's more but being too afraid to reach for it. No more settling for accomplishments that leave you empty.
Book your Congruency Audit: lisacarpenter.ca/audit
This isn't about optimizing the version of yourself you built to survive. It's about creating congruence so the life you've built doesn't just look good, it finally feels right.

The True Cost of Success (and Why It Never Feels Like Enough)

You’ve achieved more than most people, but if you’re honest, it’s come at a cost — to your health, your relationships, your energy, maybe even your sense of peace. And here’s the kicker: no matter how much you do, it never feels like enough.
In this very first episode of Congruent, Lisa Carpenter pulls back the curtain on the truth about success. Why do so many high-achieving men and women deny or downplay their success? Why does “making it” rarely feel the way we imagined it would? And what does it actually take to create success that sustains you instead of drains you?
Lisa shares her own story of chasing achievement while never feeling successful, and how a life-changing season forced her to embody everything she’d been teaching for over a decade. She reveals the hidden costs of “do-er mode,” the patterns that keep ambitious people stuck, and the shifts required to build a life that feels as good on the inside as it looks on the outside.
 
What you’ll hear in this episode:
Why success often comes with hidden costs.
The gap between how others see you and how you see yourself.
The real reason nothing ever feels like enough.
The difference between numbing with busyness vs. living in congruence.
What congruent success looks and feels like.
What to expect from this podcast each week.
If you’ve been chasing achievement but still feel unfulfilled, exhausted, or disconnected, this episode will help you see that you’re not broken — you’ve been conditioned. And there’s a different way forward.
👉 Ready to uncover where you’re out of alignment? Book your free 15-minute Congruency Audit.
Subscribe now so you don’t miss next week’s episode: The Real Cost of Over-Doing (and How to Break the Cycle Without Losing Your Ambition).